Resolution #14

I have so many options for resolutions today - I am not sure which one to choose, I guess the good news is that I am not running out of new ideas for the rest of the month as I was fearful that I might. Anyway - before I get to today's resolution I will do a little update on my others. I am doing pretty well with the water thing and I have not had a rasp ice tea in over a week. I have been walking, today I just went around the block because I feel like crap. My bible reading is sub-par - I need to work on that one. Accountability - we are chatting tonight, journaling ---um yeah this is the one that I have yet to accomplish, I know that I need to do this and it will be good for me and I love writing, but sometimes it is really hard for me, for reasons that I am not willing to go into at this time. Anyway back to following through on the resolutions...I wrote and mailed a letter to Dr. DiRocco today so I am glad about that. I am reading a book about the cognitive struggles of MS so check on that one.

So over all I would say that I am doing pretty well for the most part. I really need to work on that journalling thing, maybe if my hands felt better then I would be more willing to write - I guess I could always type it and then print it out and tape it in. We will see.

Resolution #14 - So tonight on my way back from the farm I was listening the WGRC and a song by Mark Schultz came on. His songs are often stories, and the one I heard tonight was no different, it is called Everything to me.

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As I listened to the song tears came to my eyes I realized that the song was about a teenaged mother who chose to give her child up for adoption. It was about me and my mother who is out there somewhere. So when I got home tonight I found the video which I have embedded in this blog, if you have a moment you should watch it. Once again I cried as I heard the song again and watched the video. So now to the resolution part, I am not sure if you can resolve to consider something or if you have to resolve to actually do something. Well I guess since this is my blog and my resolutions I can do whatever I want....so here it is, I am resolving through this year to think about my adoption, to consider if I would like to search for my birthparents, especially considering all my medical issues. My mom keeps bringing it up and I keep pushing it away. I am not sure what all this will mean, but I do know that I have a lot to think about and consider, not that I haven't thought about it before, but I really want to be intentional about it and pray about what God would want me to do.


I will close with the words of the song: Everything to me by Mark Schultz

I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I’m sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried

But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night

(Chorus)
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me

And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And I hope that you’d be proud of who I am

(Chorus)
You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me

And when I see you there
Watching from heaven’s gates
Into your arms
I’m gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was
And who I’ve become