There are so many other topics that I wish I could write about....but it seems that this is the one that is keeping me up as we speak so I will do a late night vent... today I got a call from a good friend of mine letting me know that he was in the hospital, I was surprised but I didn't think too much of it until I talked to his wife and she told me why he was there....at the time of my call he was getting prepped for a spinal tap - YUCK! But the reason for getting one was all too close to home. He had lost all the feeling in his arms and his hands....and when they did his MRI they found a lesion on his spine....the possibilities are a tumor, which they think they may have ruled out...or MS but they won't know anything until tomorrow.
I was able to go and spend the afternoon with them...I answered a lot of questions, hopefully accurately, but also very factually....I didn't want to tell him the hard truth of the disease before he even knew what it was, but I just gave some general stuff to help educate them.
However, as I lay here in bed tonight and I can't sleep because my shot is kicking my butt and my body feels like it has been through the mill, I just want to cry and beg God to spare my friend....I don't want him to have to go through this...he has a wife and four kids, and that would just suck.... my heart breaks for him. I just wish I could take it all away for him.
I have so many thoughts going through my head right now, thoughts of what to say - thinking back to what I wanted people to say to me, thoughts of how to pray....when I just want God to heal his body so he doesn't have to deal with this, thoughts of frustration, thoughts of sadness, and thoughts of fear because I find myself incapable of looking at situation and not thinking about mine, which leads me to thoughts of selfishness...why does it have to come back to me...this is not about me...its about my friend...and this disease that has no rhyme or reason...please pray for my friend Todd...pray for quick accurate results, pray for comfort for his wife and kids, pray for God to heal his body and return the feeling to his hands.
One thing that I do know as does my friend Todd, that God will get us through even the hardest of times, and he will use hardships to make us stronger and to bring people closer to Himself.