Saying Goodbye

The post that follows is the entry that I wrote for my other blog today, I thought that I would share it here as well.

It was just two short weeks ago that we knew for sure that we were expecting. I can't tell you how excited we were....to think in December our world would change completely as we became parents. One week had passed and my body knew I was pregnant - I had morning sickness (or all day sickness) I didn't really want to eat, but the thoughts of the future helped me through. As people found out we were even more excited. So many people encouraged us as they told us what great parents we would be - that to me was such a huge compliment! Making me all the more excited! My family started offering me baby clothes, furniture, and all those other things that you need but don't realize.

Wednesday of last week, I was pretty sick - I was in bed all day not wanting to eat, just wanting to lay with my eyes closed, we prayed that night for the baby and for a better day the next day. Joel was so cute as he prayed for our little baby being formed inside me.

The next day I woke up and felt better, still nauseous but it was more tolerable than the day before which was good because I was beginning my first day of teaching at EJ (I am doing a long term sub in the Phys Ed department) As the day went on and I was learning the ropes I started to feel a little crampy, but still nothing strange. By lunch I was beginning to worry when I realized that I was bleeding. The doctor was called, I left school and began the longest four hours of my life!

After tests, blood work, ultrasounds they determined that I had a miscarriage. I was trying so hard to hold it together...since I had to sit in the waiting room for so long, but I just wanted to go home at that point....my heart was crushed. How could I have gotten so attached in one short week. Not only did I feel I lost the baby, but I felt as though I lost my dream - it was so overwhelming.

Now as I sit here and write, one week later, I can't hold back the tears....the hurt is still here, and I am guessing that it will be for a while. I know that time brings healing, I can feel it already, but I also know that I will not forget our little one, that I will one day meet him in one of the many rooms in God's Big House (you almost have to start singing Big House now! That always brings me a smile)

Last Thursday was Maundy Thursday - in some ways it was so symbolic of God's sadness - but in others it was just hard for additional reasons - three years ago on the same day I was diagnosed with MS. As I sat in the hospital I said to Joel - don't I have enough of a story to tell, do I really need more hardship as part of my testimony. To that he said, I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I am so tired of handling things!

Just as we were blessed with an abundance of people who loved on us and congratulated us, we have been equally blessed by people who have loved us, prayed for us, called us, send cards to us, and even the family that I don't even know that sent us a single rose to remember our little one. We really are blessed and loved!

One of the biggest things I have learned this week - we all grieve differently! I have counseled so many through the grieving process, but it seems so different when it is yourself. I have learned I am a silent griever....I need time, I am not really one who wants to talk a lot about it. I like to keep myself busy, but then allow time for me to deal with my emotions. My friend said the night would be the hardest and she was right - it is the hardest! When I process things, I like to write, but it often takes me some time to actually be able to articulate what I am feeling and what I am thinking. I also like to have my space, tonight Joel is away and it is my first chance to be alone since the miscarriage, and so I made my playlist of reflective (or sad) music and have just thought and cried about life, loss, and where to go from here.

Another thing that I did that seemed to help was to get some tulips to plant in memory of our little one. I am guessing that orange would have been their favorite color since I felt drawn to get orange flowers, the flower that was sent to us was orange, and someone left a pot of orange tulips on our steps the other day. It may have been a coincidence, but I like to think it was a God incidence - God shining his love on us through our short time of pregnancy.

If you are still reading you must be brave, as I mentioned when I started this blog I was going to be raw and honest....boy I had no idea what I saying! Another thing I mentioned was that I was hoping that this would always point to God....I know God has a plan and purpose for all things....I am not sure what that is, but there is comfort in knowing that, but comfort doesn't remove the hurt, it just give security to know that the one who creates life is the one who walks through life with me. Although I am not yet at a place that I can feel God's peacefully, I know that it is promised to me, and God never breaks a promise. I am trusting that each day will get easier, and each day God will reveal his "unexpected Joy" I claim that promise as I write!!!

The last thing that I want to write before I close this epilogue (is that even the right word? well actually I don't care if it is or not, I am going to use it) I want to write about Joel in closing. From the moment that we found out we were expecting, my husband wanted to be sure people were praying for me and the baby because of the high risk. He prayed for us every night. After he shared our news at church Pastor Paul said he thought Joel would be one of the greatest Dads. I don't think that was just a nice thing to say, I think he meant it, and one thing I can say is that Joel was a great Dad, for one week he prayed for the baby, he cared for me - he even cleaned the litter box (so you know he was going above and beyond). On the way to the hospital he prayed, he made calls, he intersected my calls, he was selfless! He just kept saying, tell me what you need and I will do it, and he did! I can't think of any other person that I would want to walk through this with, he is a great husband, dad, and man of God!

I will close with the words of this song - that brings me joy in my sadness - "I will sing of your mercies that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of Joy" - Jars of Clay, Valley Song

I will keep singing, I will keep trusting and I will keep hoping! Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer" Lord help me to be such things!

Glowy Unicorns and Complaining!

Tonight was the kickoff for our 8th grade girls Small Group - these girls have energy - wow! From the moment they walked in to the moment they left there was never a dull moment...they talked about everything - including but not limited to being "glowy", unicorns, baby names, complaining, denarius, the meaning of Noel, and so much more that I wish I could remember. However the best thought of the night was in the beginning when we were talking about the baby and the girls were asking how it felt to be pregnant - which was entertaining to say the least...one of my girls asked me after I squirted the dog because he is being trained to not whine when he is behind the gate, "Jana, are you going to spray your baby in the face when he cries, like you do when your dog cries?" Oh my goodness - I had to laugh at that one and insisted that I could not!

We did tonight talk about complaining - we looked at the Parable of the Workers in Matthew 20:1-16. Check it out and be challenged! Looking forward to more fun times with these girls!

MS, Baby, and Me

Hey Friends - as most of you know now, or have just found out, my husband and I are expecting our first child! We are thrilled, but nervous and excited all in one. I just wanted to let you know about a new blog that I have started...it is called MS, Baby, and Me. You can find it by going to msbabyandme.blogspot.com It will be our journey into parenthood, but it will be a bit of a different journey because of my health conditions. With that being said, it is our hope that our blog would be a prayer request for our child and for us as parents, that it would also be a place of humor and joy for those who follow us, but also that it would be an encouragement to others out there that might be struggling with MS or another disease but also find themselves on the path to parenthood.

One thing is for sure, since Joel and I are involved it will be humorous (Joel says he likes me when I laugh, (not that he doesn't when I don't - I have learned that)) and it will be honest, and sometimes a bit of raw emotion, but hopefully in all of that our story will be God honoring!

Thanks for your prayers! The next 244 days (I only know that from using my new Baby Bump App for my I Phone) are going to be a wild ride! Hope you will join us in the adventure!

Starfield and Mikeschair Interviews

Check out the videos of me interviewing "Starfield" and "Mikeschair" over at my website: www.tarajaministries.com. Both were a lot of fun!

Mike's Chair

This band is the real deal....they not only are great on stage, musically awesome, but they have great passion for Christ! They are men of integrity! I had the privilege of getting to know them backstage at Impact. I even will be soon posting a video interview with them. If you have not checked out their music - go to www.mikeschair.com Check out some of these great pictures!

Guest Blog

Hey Friends! Just wanted to pass along a hello to anyone that has just started following me here. This week I have the honor of being a guest post on www.morethandodgeball.com one of the most popular youth ministry blogs - Josh Griffin is a great guy and can take a little credit in helping Joel and I find love! (or at least he likes to think he helped in that process) Needless to say he is in Kenya right now and was looking for some guest bloggers - so go there and check out my blog on "The Sexy Truth" To get more information about the Sexy Truth - check out our site at www.thesexytruth.org

An MS Moment

As many of you know I live with a disease called MS. Today I am feeling my MS as I struggle with a sinus infection - it seems as though I can't get sick like "normal" people....when I get sick it always goes straight to a full fledge infection. Last night I was so sick I was delirous - I think Joel was a bit annoyed or ammused! Anyway - let me get to the point. There is five kinds of MS - I have the relapsing remitting form. Some forms are more serious some are less. Mine is considered moderate - for that I am thankful, however that could change anyday and for that I must be prepared.

I am writing this email not to let you know about my MS - but to help educate the people around me. I have another dear friend who is a few years younger than me and has been suffering with this disease for several years longer than I. She struggles at times to walk, she is not able to work, her life has been completely altered by this debilitating disease. Although with many people that have this disease - you can't tell by looking at her. She looks just like any other trendy 30 year old - hence why this disease is called the invisible disease.

Today my friend made a bumper sticker - that is pictured below. My friend has been given dirty looks, received rude comments, and finger pointing when she gets out of her car that she parked in the handicapped spot. If she had to park far away from the store - she wouldn't make it back to the car - you see if we can conserve our energy - we can last longer each day. It is not just fatigue - it is like your body is a sand bag. I hurt for my friend who has received such looks and comments from people who have no idea.

I guess my point is this - we need to stop judging people on their appearance - because by just judging on the outward appearance we are going to fall short every time. But the other thing that I am learning from this is that I need to educate people. So pass this on - tell other people - and next time you see someone pull into that handicapped parking spot - be slow to judge and quick to assist - you have no idea what that person may be struggling with day in and day out!

This my friends is one of the reasons that I dread the day I have to get my handicap placard - because I don't want to be judged - sad isn't it - so many people that could benefit from the closer parking will never take that step for fear of what people will say or assume!

Forty Days of Water

Lent is a time when we often talk about giving up things to consider the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the cross. I often give things up, but over the past few years I have tried to be very intentional about making a commitment through lent to do something that will draw me closer to Christ. One year I gave up dating - to seek God's heart (and it got me an amazing husband, thanks God!) one year I did a prayer journal throughout lent, another read my Bible daily through lent.

Well this year, in conjuction with Blood Water Mission I am going to do Forty Days of Water. One of the things that Jesus asks of us as Christians is to reach out and share with the least of these....after spending a month in Africa - I found that the people there may be considered the least of these as far as their physical situation, but they showed me that Spiritually I may at times be the least of these....they were so grateful, so grounded on Christ, so dependant on Him...boy did I have so much to learn!

So this year, I am going to drink only water over Lent....and with each glass of water I choose over another type of drink, I will make a donation to Blood Water Mission - a mission founded by Jars of Clay to provide clean drinking water to countries all over the world. This year all funds raised over lent will go towards a project for the Ugandan people. To check out more about this ministry go to Blood Water Mission

If you would like to join me on this venture - drop me a line so we can help each other remain accountable. If you can't join us in the Forty Days of Water - consider making a donation to Blood Water Missions!

Thoughts on the Carb Free Diet

So it has been about a month and a half since Joel and I began our healthy living program! We started with the Atkins diet for the first four weeks. Joel is still doing the Atkins much more strickly than myself, however I have altered the diet a bit more. I am glad I did the Atkins to start because I really needed to detox my body from all the carbs and the sugars! It was so hard - I was having some strong cravings! I am so thankful that Joel was doing it with me - it not I am sure I would have cheated!

So what am I doing now? Well I am doing a little of this and a little of that! Actually I have been doing a lot of label reading on my last few trips to the grocery store - my last trip was not quite as long since I am starting to really know my foods. I have also done some research into the Belly Fat Diet - that diet focuses on cutting down on your sugars - and limiting your carbs to six servings which I am doing! The biggest challenge is that you are supposed to limit your sugar to 15 grams a day. Did you know a banana has 18 grams of sugar - yogurt has 32 grams of sugar - and those are considered diet friendly foods - wow!

I read that the average American Woman eats over 435 grams of sugar a day. While I think 15 is a bit extreme - I know I need to cut back. So now to what I am doing....I am being aware of my carb intake - I am not cutting them out completely but I am trying to stay under the 6 servings a day. I am eating food that is high in fiber - because to figure out net carbs you subtract your fiber from carbs to get your net. Reading labels was time consuming at first but now I know which foods are high in carbs and which are not.

The biggest surprise is how much sugar is in food! I am still doing some label reading in this area - but I think it is really making a difference. I have also found Truvia which is a natural sweetener from the Stevia plant - it is so much better for you than Aspertame or Splenda (and they sell it at the Village Merchants in Richfield). My goal is to stay under 50 grams of sugar a day.

You may be wondering the results - well I have lost about 12 pounds so far - if I was more strict I am sure that I would lose more, but I am happy so far with the results - if I could add a little exercise to my routine I would do even better. Joel has done really well also - about 20 -25 lbs lost!

So thanks for following me and thanks for your words of encouragment. My goal is to lose 20 more by June! I can do this without going crazy!

Praise you in the Storm

That song by Casting Crowns has all new meaning for me this week. As many of you know, I have been posting updates over the past few weeks about my dear friends Dave and Christie Hubner who have been working to adopt a little girl from Haiti for the last three years. It has been a long process! But they have been faithful to their commitment to this little girl despite all the delays with paperwork and other things outside of their control.

In the midst of the tragic earthquake that struck Haiti - they recieved word that their little girl might be arriving on a plane soon. Who knew that in the midst of the storm would come their opportunity to hold their little three year old Ila for the first time. God can make miracles out of messes and that is what hundreds of little orphans are experiencing for the first time.

Just as God has adopted us into his Kingdom and calls us his own. So many are doing the same for needy children all over the world! I am so blessed to have friends that have opened their home to a little girl and now call her their own. The other amazing thing that God does in life is he uses times of waiting to open other doors for us....You see there is more to this story! Last year while waiting for Ila's papers to go through, another little boy came up for adoption and needed a home. My friends listened and were faithful to also adopt a little boy named Jonas! Had they not been put on hold with Ila - they may have never known about Jonas - how great it is too look back and see God's faithfulness in the waiting, in the storms, and now in the Celebrations!

Pray for them as a family, their is going to be a lot of adjustments to be made, the house with be lively with young children under the age of 5, but I can't think of better parents for these children! It trully is a demonstration of God's goodness and grace! I hope that I can model that same kind of love one day!

The Carb Free Me

So I am back to doing my 90 day renewal - however it is being modified to also work with the Atkins Diet. This is the first time I have ever tried this diet - or healthy eating plan as I prefer to call it - let's just say it is really hard!!!! I am going through some major withdrawl - I never realized how many carbs foods had until this week. For the first two weeks you have to stay below 20 carbs a day - did you know a glass of unsweetened cranberry juice has 36 grams in one serving!!! Even carrots have carbs! Joel said that he would rather me not do this if I am going to be cranky - hmmm is he trying to tell me something. I have actually had to pray for the will power to not eat carbs! I feel like I am going through a drug withdrawl - which in essence is what is happening inside my body....no sugar either - so I thought I would be cool and get some sugar free gummy bears - yeah - they still have 36 grams of carbs per serving!

Tonight for dinner - I made tuna salad - and ate it with celery, cheese, and pickles - that was my dinner - for dessert I had some cashews. I just want pasta!!!! Rice!!!!! Sugar!!!! Pretzels!!!! Okay now that I got that out in the open I am going to get myself a nice tall glass of water and get some work done. If you think of it - say a prayer - I know that this is good for me and will hopefully give me more energy - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Our extended time in Charlotte with OCC

We had a great time in Charlotte! It was a mini vacation, little did we know how sick I would be the following week, which makes last week's time even more precious! I could spend lots of time writing a blog about each of the things we experienced, but I am a firm believer that a picture is worth a thousand words so here is a few thousand words to let you know what we did!

The Billy Graham Library was a very neat experience. I wasn't sure what to expect but it was very well done, very relevant, and a great reminder of how God can use just one willing person to change the lives of so many - I can only pray that God will use me in that same way!

That night we headed into the City to see a performance of "Sister's Christmas Catecism" - It was a one woman show - that was interactive. It was very well done, very funny - she did a great job...there were a few times that I was a little taken back by some of her comments and questioned whether it was appropriate to joke about God or Christmas the way she did, just my thoughts, but I am pretty analytical when it comes to that! All is all it was a fun date night!



The next day we had a couple firsts - we went to Sonic for the first time - Cherry Limeades - yummy! We went and sat in Starbucks to meet a friend - love their Shaken Ice Tea Lemonades - pricey but good! And lastly we got to go to a fancy chinese restaurant with Joel's cousin Fred - it think it was called PK Changs or something like that. Needless to say - it was wonderful! Thanks Fred.

And now for the highlight of the week... the press conference





Stay tuned for another upcoming blog with Joel's speech - he did such a great job! I am so proud of his servant's heart - he is such a humble Godly man - how did I get so blessed?

Last Day of Working Charlotte OCC 2009

What a great week we had working at the Center - the kids were great - they worked so hard and truly had a servant's heart while there. We were so privileged to be able to work in the same section every day. The main leader was Bromley - he is so cool and loves Joel and our group. Our staff person was Shana - we just loved having her there and she loved having us - she told us we were her favorite group. When we first got there that morning another guy was planning to put us on his line, and she marched down and said - sorry but these are my people and took us down to her lines. We got to laugh with her, see her pictures, and pray for and with her. She brought me such great joy!!!

We worked on the special lines again, which is hard work but rewarding to know that Samaritan's Purse is able to go into countries who are Anti-Jesus and share the message of hope, not with words, but with shoeboxes and disaster relief. It also made me realize how great I have it to live in a country that allows me to worship freely.

At the end of the day we cleaned up and headed out for our celebration meal at Buca de beppos. It was a great time of laughing and fellowship. And let's just say that dessert was well....amazing and I don't even like chocolate - you will see our before and after pictures. If you would like to see more pictures - check out my facebook and you can see daily photographs of our trip.

One last thing.... this morning we sent our students and our leaders home and we are still here....why you ask, well my husband was invited to speak at a press conference on behalf of the volunteers since he has been coming for so many years. We get to stay until Thursday night! I also start my new job tomorrow - I guess I will be working from Charlotte for the week - which is fine since I have to do lots of research. Anyway - we will be posting more while we are here so watch for updates. You can also check out joelsnyder.net for more info as well.

OCC - Day 3

Today was a great day - but once again very tired! But well worth it! We worked today from 9-4 on the special boxes for Lebanon and Georgia (the country not the state). We laughed a lot, awwwed a lot, and worked a lot - and very well I might say. I am not sure anyone took a break, but me...but I did take a working break. After lunch I was having trouble with my body and brain not working so I went to the candy center (not to eat, silly) and sat down on the comfy chair and put 8 pieces of candy in little bags as filler items. While I was there I met a nice lady named Opal and another lady named Dot and a man named William (aka Billy Ray). We had a great time talking about OCC and I was able to educated them on the process - all my years of service paid off and I was able to share about my Jamaica trip.

After we returned home we had dinner then the group (or at least some of the group) went shopping, of course I would never be caught dead shopping on Black Friday. So this brings me to one of the highlights of the trip...tonight I got to spend some time with a dear friend that I have not seen or talked to in four years. It was such a blessing to be able to see her and spend time with her family. I have missed our talks with one another. She has two of the most beautiful children! Anyway - Becky if you are reading this - thank you for our time this evening - it was a blessing from God!

We ended the evening with a great time of devotions and singing. It has been great to get to know the kids better and have some great talks with the girls - yes we even talked about the birds and the bees or "the sexy truth" (which by the way I will be working on starting on Monday). Now I am tired and soon to sleep. As I look around the girls are happily playing cards the ladies are in their pjs reading and the boys...well .... Joel is in charge of them!

Day 2 OCC Thanksgiving Celebration

Happy Thanksgiving (a day late) But I am going to write this as if it were yesterday since I promised daily updates. We had a great day of rest and relaxation. We enjoyed a nice hope made thanksgiving dinner for 17 people made in our mini kitchen of our sweet. We were able to use the room downstairs to eat which was a blessing - below you will see a picture of our spread - pretty impressive if you could see our kitchen. I think the coolest part of the meal was one of the staff members walked into the room to get something not realizing we were there, and so I asked her if she would like some dinner, and she made herself a plate and called me Mam like 12 times - it just made me happy to food someone else! I just love feeding people. Anyway - it was a great day and we had so much to be thankful for!

Hope you and your families had a wonderful thanksgiving!

OCC Day 1 - in the books!

So fun to get back to Charlotte to help process shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. As we walked through the door, we were greeted by the hugging lady! So nice to see her again - she is like that cute little grandma that everyone loves. The center made a lot of processing changes last year but since I wasn't able to come this is my first year experiencing it - my thoughts you wonder....I love it - it cuts down on a huge amount of noise in the warehouse. I can be doing presort and talking to one of the kids that is doing inspection as well as cartonizing - I love it! The staff is great as always - we especially loved working with Shana today - she was a sweetheart! We hope to be on her line again tomorrow.

Our group was lucky enough to work on a special line for Sensitive Countries - basically that means that the boxes we were working on were going to countries that do not like Jesus - so we have to sort through the boxes to find boxes that don't have Jesus stuff in the box - USA stuff and the part that was interesting was no pigs, or winnie the pooh - you would be surprised how many boxes have that stuff. One thing that I should note - we did not remove those items from the boxes - they just went to different countries that weren't so sensitive.

It was a long day but a great day - we even got to work an extra hour because they had several groups not show up. My biggest thankgiving moment of the day....my stool - thanks Kevin! Oh I did have another thanksgiving moment - I got to see my friend Randy Riddle - he is pretty much the next best thing to Franklin Graham! But really - it was such a blessing to reconnect with him - he went along on our trip to Jamaica several years ago.

Okay I think I am done with my thoughts for today - I need to get my beauty sleep, so I am not only physically beautiful, but emotionally I don't want to be ugly if you know what I mean.

On our Way to Charlotte, OCC Processing Center

It has been two years since my last visit to Charlotte, last year - I was a little busy - wedding stuff, so I guess that is a good excuse. Anyway - Joel and I along with 14 other students and leaders will be piling in a van and making our way to the south. We have another group joining us on Thursday. This will be my seventh year going down - each year I get so excited about serving this awesome ministry. Samaritan's Purse is one of those stellar ministry organizations! They have great staff, great vision, and great opportunities to allow others to serve along side them.

If you are a praying person - please pray for safety for us as we travel, for extra energy as we work all day (for me especially, I don't always tolerate standing very long) and pray especially for the boxes and the children that will be receiving them.

Stay tuned for daily (hopefully) updates and pictures from our trip!

Operation Christmas Child

Hey Friends - have you packed a shoebox yet? If not - you still have two weeks to do so. If you don't know what I am talking about - check out samaritanspurse.org and you can find out how you can pack a shoebox gift for a child around the world. Each year over 2.5 million shoeboxes are packed for children in over 100 countries around the world. Several years ago I had the privilege to go to Jamaica and hand out shoeboxes with an amazing team of OCC staff and friends from around the US.

The children that received these boxes were so filled with joy....if only we could learn to be more joyful in plenty and in want. We have so much to learn from children - especially children in other countries. I have had an opportunity to work with children in Jamaica, Guatemala, and Kenya and all these children - despite having so little - were some of the joyfilled people I have ever worked with. I think Jesus was trying to make a point when he mentioned having child like faith.

Tonight and last week some of our students got to participate in making shoeboxes for other children. It was mass chaos - starting with the shopping trip with middle school girls (fun times!), setting up the room, high schoolers doing boxes, then a room full of middle school students. It was not a big room and it was hot - but they were great and packed over 70 shoeboxes! It is our prayer that lives would be changed because of the message of Jesus Christ that is sent with these shoeboxes.

Day 26 but who is counting!

So if you took a few minutes and you actually decided to count (which I am imagining that most of you would not wait your time to do, since I am not even going to waste my time to count) it has been way more than 26 days since I started my renewal program. It has in fact been much longer than 26 days however the great news is that despite that fact - I have not given up! I refuse to give up until I have completed the renewal even if it takes 150 days to complete.

My rule is that if I don't take the time to start my day off with my daily requirements I can't count it as a day. As many of you remember I started the first couple weeks off with lemon water - I actually even did that on some days that I didn't complete the day - but now I am starting the day with what they call a cranberry tonic - cranberry juice, water, and psyllum husk - you are supposed to add it as a powder but that sounded gross so I am taking a supplemental vitamin of psyllum husk. I also last week added an essential oils vitamin (it is like omega 3, plus all the other good fats) - I am still taking my multi-vitamin as well as my ester C.

I am doing pretty well as far as eating healthy - I am eating more balanced meals and trying to eat more salads and eat less food after 7pm (which is hard when you have a busy day). Now the exercise part - well I am not doing as well with that - I have taken some walks but not as many as I would like. Today I did get my tampaline out for the first time in weeks.

The spiritual section has been very good - good verses to focus on as well as prayers to read - I have not done well with the memorizing like I had hoped, but I will try my best to do better - I just need to take the time to write them out and post them.

Today I was asked to read the labels of some of my favorite food and list those that have good nutritional value and those that don't - I have not yet done that - but I am afraid of what I might find! That is what I plan to do tomorrow.

All in all I am doing well with drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day - I know because I visit the bathroom often.

Now - you may be wondering - am I feeling any results - actually for as much as I am not following the hard core daily exercising regimen - I have seen some great results...first - my MS has been very calm over the last two months, yes I still have a few hard days, but my good days seem better and my bad days seem to be more tolerable. Next - energy! I have more of that! Praise God! Next - I have lost 5-8 pounds - depending on the day - and lastly and most excitingly - I can fit into some of my clothes from the beginning of summer (which means I am finally losing some of my steroid weight (30 pounds I gained, yuck!).

I am feeling really good! Very satisfied with the progress I am making and hope to continue to make! Keep asking how I am doing - that is a great motivation to keep pressing on!

Day 17 continued....

Well there are a couple reason that I have spent a couple days on day 17. The first reason was because I went through the day and followed the regular diet of lemon water, two eggs, salad and so on, then that night when I got to my devotional time I realized it was a free day, and I had thought the free day wasn't until the weekend. So I decided that I would stay on day 17 the next day in order to really enjoy my free day of eating whatever I wanted. The next reason was because the mental health part of the day was about thinking - what consumes your thoughts, you were to write down what you thought consumed your thoughts and then at the end of the day write what actually consumes your thoughts - since I didn't do that days thought until the evening I had to think about it the next day. Well I am going to be honest that was back on Thursday and I am still on day 17. The last reason is because my partner in crime (or with this renewal) had a rough week with her grandma passing away and has gotten behind on her plan. So I have decided to start again tomorrow on day 18 and I will repeat it for several days until she is able to catch up that way we can be doing the same day together - have conversations about what we are being challenged by and what we are doing well at. Also this will give me a little time to start the exercising again since I have not walked or bounced for 2 weeks now - not good!!! I guess that is what happens when you get sick. So there you have the update for the week.