I have spent many years working in ministry.... as a volunteer, staff member, and as a full time paid director. I have worked at camps, churches, and at parachurch ministries. All this to say I have experienced a large variety of ministry settings, but nothing really compares to being a pastor's wife and raising a child in the pastoral setting.
As a wife of a pastor I see the amount of time and energy my husband puts into his ministry at the church. I hear the phone ring as soon as he walks in the door for the one more problem to solve or one more detail to figure out, or to find out that he needs to head out the door to do an emergency visit. I see his love for the church, I see his hurt for the church and its people.
My downfall as a pastor's wife is that I often feel that our staff is under appreciated, some people are more quick to complain than they are to encourage..... it is just a small portion but sad to say it is the negative words or criticism that you remember.
Please here me say, I love our church and I am so grateful for a healthy church that is active and encouraging! I just think it is important for people to better understand the time and commitment it takes to lead a healthy church. And how ministry affects the whole pastoral family.
I know what it feels like to be a PK - I was one.... I was a Principal's Kid.... which in many ways is like being a pastor's kid.... but in many ways very different. It is often easy to critic those that are up front and in leadership, as a child I heard those words and it hurt me to think someone didn't appreciate the sacrifices that my dad was making for our school. For Ella and other pastor's kids, it will hurt them just the same. They will grow up feeling a bit of pressure (though not intentional I don't think) to be perfect (the same feeling we as pastor's wives struggle with) We know that people are watching how we lives our lifes, they are watching how our kids behave and they are watching how we show and receive love.
Whether we like it or not we are in the lime light at the church. It reminds me of the passage that says, "to those who are given much, much is expected" I know as a pastoral family there are great expectations, to which we strive to live up to, but also know that we will fall short, and to that we need your grace and mercy so we can pick up and start again.
I am grateful to have another pastor's wife in our church. One that can be a sounding board, and one to walk the ministry road with. Thank you Nicole for being a great friend! I love being in this ministry journey with your family and I can't wait to see how God uses our husbands, us, and our children to do great ministry in our church, our community and our world.
Take some time this week to love on your Pastor's wife and children, they need to know their sacrifices and time are worth it!
The Pastor's Wife
We often hear of Heroes
on the news at night,
How someone went into a fire
To save someone else's life.
But, there's another hero
that we never hear about,
Though Her love and dedication
are never in a doubt.
Often took for granted...
Still she keeps on going
for the person by her side.
She stands beside him everyday
no matter what ... is thrown their way,
For he was called from above
To spread the message of "GOD'S LOVE".
And just as he was called...
She was hand picked too.
for it takes someone Special
to do what she must do.
And thou he may get the Glory
and he may get the Fame,
She will stand beside him in Love
and Help him just the same.
She's the person he turns to
when he needs a friend,
She will always be there till the
I would like to take this moment
to introduce to you,
a LOVELY unsung Hero for whom
GOD hand-picked to spend Her life
as The Pastor's WIFE.
By Donna Golden, Georgia, USA