Silly String - Elfina's Advent Adventures Day 2

Thursday was a long day for Ella and I - long meaning we didn't get along the greatest - I was super tired, she was overtired.... we are both a little bit strong willed (hard to believe, huh).  I felt as though we just needed to let loose and enjoy our time together.  So one of the things I am very intentional about during Advent is to find simple fun things to do together that brings us joy and laughter.  It is a great reminder that Jesus came so we could have joy and freedom from our sins and the things that hold us down.  So today - Ella was greeted with this poem.

Day #2

1,2,3,4 I declare a silly string war!

Meet me after school is done today

In the back yard where you run and play! 

We will have lots of fun as we empty our cans

We just have to be sure we keep it off of the van

Laughter is a gift that comes from the Lord

Let’s celebrate that together, so we never get bored.

Verse of the Day: Prov. 17:22

Note to self and others - don't leave silly string hang on your elf all day - it leaves stains and is very difficult to remove 

So after school we got home and Ella started looking around... where is Elfina she asked I said she was waiting inside for us to get home... and Ella said in her very concrete thinking... the note said she was going to meet me outside after school.  

A fun time was definately had by all!!!  

A Thankful Start to Elfina's adventures Day #1

So this morning, Ella woke up to find an elf sitting on her new writing tray with a marker in hand and thank you cards ready to be written on.  She was so surprised and has continued to ask all day long... "who did that - who put her there?  I wonder what she will be doing tomorrow"  Along with Elfina I included a letter that I came up with late (very late) last night along with a little poem about the event of the day.

My Name is Elfina, I am a kindly sweet elf,

I come around at Christmas, not just to sit on a shelf.

Adventures are my passion, I love them, I do

You may even find me one day, hiding out in a shoe.

New places you will find me, with the dawn of each day

With clues for the adventure that will be coming our way.

I need you to make me a promise that’s true,

That you will always remember that Christmas is not about you,

It’s about Jesus, the Savior, the king of all Kings

So remember to celebrate Jesus with all that this adventure will bring.

Much Love for you sweet Ella, I can’t wait for the start of the fun,

Christmas will be here before you know it and then off I will run

You see my job is just for Advent, a great time to celebrate

God coming near

Then after Christ’s birthday, I must then disappear.

So what are you waiting for, let this adventure please start

For I know that you, dear Ella are an adventurer at heart.

Then next to the letter was a clue for what today's activity would include.  Unlike Elf on the shelf - this elf is invited to come on all the adventures with us... so Elfina helped Ella write thank you notes today.

Day #1

Today is the first of our Kindness Advent Adventure

We will start with a note to thank those who have blessed you.

A thanks for the special Calendar from Mim

And a thanks for the tray from a very kind friend.

Giving thanks is something that is dear to God’s heart.

So writing letters of thanks is a great way to start.

Verse of the Day: Psalm 107:1

It was a great start to our Advent Adventure.... I think Ella is really going to enjoy this and though it is extra work for me.... it is so fun to be creative as I come up with ways to incorporate the things we normally do during advent with the whimsical fun of the Elf.

Elfina's Advent Adventures

For a few years now I have been contemplating the whole Elf on the Shelf craze.  I look on pinterest and see lists of ideas of how to make your elf find itself in  great predicaments.  I even enjoy taking a few minutes to see what my friends have done with their elves on my facebook feed.  I love the creativity and the adventure of the elves.... I am not sure I love the total concept behind the elves. Now before I continue on - I will admit I haven't read the book, and I don't know the exact story behind what the elves do but if I understand the bits and pieces that I have heard it involves reporting to Santa on the behavior of the children... so if the kids are good - then they will tell Santa to bring gifts.  

Just like the whole concept of Santa - some are all about Santa, some are against Santa and some fall somewhere in-between.... my goal is not to get into a deep theological discussion on Elves and Santa and all those other made up characters that come around on different holidays throughout the year.  To be honest I love holidays and the fun fictional characters that come along... but for me... it is important to make sure that my child understands that they are a fun part of the holiday...a fairy tale feature that allows us to pretend and be creative... while still not loosing sight of the real meaning of the holiday.  And lastly it is a priority for me to be honest with my child... I don't want to tell her something is real and then later tell her it is not real.... do we have conversations about Santa - yes! But I try my best to never talk about him as a real person that watches to see if you are good.... That is my personal conviction!  Not one that I expect others to fall in line with.

More than anything I want my child to know that she is getting gifts because God is good to us!  And he is gracious!  Not because she has earned it, because if I am honest - I haven't earned any of the good gifts that God has blessed me with - it is God's grace and goodness that he lavishes his love upon us.  That to me is what I want to be promoting to my child. In the same way I want her to be a giving person, knowing that we give not because people deserve gifts but because whatever we do for others, we do unto the Lord.  I want my child to be giving.

So with that being said - I wanted to come up with a way to stay true to my convictions while also enjoying the fun and creativity of the Christmas elves.  So after doing some research I found some information about a few alternatives such as the Kindness Elves and one I learned about just tonight which was the Shepherd Adventure and Wondering Wisemen.

So I decided to marry two ideas into a fun new tradition called Elfina's advent adventures.... so as in years past we have turned over a Christmas tree to find out what we would be doing that day, now this year instead of having the adventures on the paper trees lined up on the wall I am going to have Elphina doing something fun as a clue to what we will be doing as our advent adventure for that day.

I will be posting daily through Christmas about Elfina's adventures.... I hope you will follow along with us and share your advent activities or your favorite Elf activities and maybe I can use your ideas to help create an awesome Advent Adventure for Ella and her new friend Elfina.

Claiming Truth in the Trenches of Life

Have you ever had one of those weeks.... as a whole the week was generally good, but it seemed as though there were one or two little things each day that pulled you down?  That was my week.  Many good things happened this week, and it was clear that God was working, but it was also clear that the enemy was also working overtime to try to knock down what God had been building up.

Being in a helping profession I find myself at times burdened by the choices of other people.  I feel a heavy heart for them and a burden to pray.  I am so thankful God has given me a heart for people, but there are times when it can be overwhelming as you look into their lives and see the hurt, the pain and the choices.  It breaks my heart... but if my heart is this broken, imagine the level of hurt the Lord feels as we watches his children struggle.

I also struggle to know my role.  This was definitely a struggle while we were away last year in Romania, but honestly I think it is an underlying struggle that has continued to lay heavy on my heart.  There are days in my quest to know what I am called to do that I flourish.... but there are also days in the journey that I just want to "pack my bags" and move on to something new.

I struggle with being overly sensitive.... I know that there are times when people say and do things that aren't meant to hurt, but they seem to anyway.  Times that I work really hard on something just to have it brushed aside.... or thrown out.  I wish I wasn't so sensitive.... I wish I could just let things roll off my back like so many other.  I was just thinking last night... I probably should never write that book that I have been thinking about, because I will never be able to handle the critiquing that comes along with it.  I guess my hard outside shell can't always protect my ultra sensitive core of who I am.

I wonder sometimes if this is God's way of teaching me something.... I also wonder if it is God's way of answering my prayers to continue to drawn me into a closer relationship with him.  A relationship of being more than doing, a relationship of trusting and relying on Him instead of me calling the shots.  A relationship of brokenness turned to beauty.  A relationship of being loved unconditionally without me having to do anything - ANYTHING to earn his love.

So today I will be reminded of these truths to claim as I struggle to not feel defeated:

1.  "I am fearfully and wonderfully made"- he gave me a heart to care for people, he allowed me to be sensitive (though I do know I am at times overly sensitive).

2.  "God is my refuge and strength"  - He is all I need to weather the storms of my life.  I need nothing else.

3.  He has a plan for me.  His plan is perfect and I claim that promise today!  He created me to be a reflection of Him and that is how I must define success.

4.  "Holy and Blameless" - Because of the cross - I am Holy and Blameless.  This one I struggle with an 18 inch problem (the distance from my head to my heart).... I know it to be true in my head, but I struggle to live it and experience it in my heart.  Today I will claim it!

5.  "Be still and know that I am God"  - He's got this.... now I need to rest in Him and his promises!  I give up trying to do for others on my own strength..... today let me be reminded to just BE forgiven, BE loved, and BE still in the presence of the creator.

An Adoption Story & Reunion Retold

My Mom and Dad

It is hard to believe it has been three years since my reunion with my birth mother. I am so grateful for God's faithfulness though my journey. I am thankful for His perfect timing and wisdom... I am thankful for Nancy who loved me enough to choose life and share me with another family.  I am thankful for my Mom and my Dad who loved me and cared for me the last 40 years (oh my that sounds old). So for this journey filled with ups and downs I am grateful!

My birth mother Nancy, Amanda (my half sister) 

Cindy (my half sister on my birth father's side)

Here is a link to an article that was just in the Daily Item this week.

http://www.dailyitem.com/news/lifestyles/one-woman-s-journey-toward-self-discovery/article_c2c9e2cc-cea9-11e5-8a3b-679500b2bec5.html

With All My Heart

Today marks the start of what I hope to be a new February tradition for our family. The wall of hearts were put up last night and each day between now and Valentine's Day my daughter and my husband each get to turn over a heart to reveal something we love about them. Joel and I worked together to make Ella's and Ella worked with me to come up with some for her Daddy. As we were finishing up Joel's hearts Ella asked about mine... I told her I didn't make any for myself, so she decided she would make some for me and she knows what each one says despite the fact that all I see are jumbled letters - they truly are a message of love. 

For each on of Ella's heart we made a point to find a scripture to go along with it so it was not only a message of what we loved about her, it was also an opportunity for us to have a little devotion time together as we talk about who God made her to be and how God has already gifted her in many ways.  

My hope and prayer is that she will always know she is loved not for what she can do, but for who she is in Christ!!

Mine, Mine, Mine

Mine, Mine, Mine... hearing those words would probably lead you to believe that this was a post about my four year old daughter, who happens to be an only child and her inability to share.   While that is true at times.... this post is about us - the big kids.  Though I am talking about us, as adults, I can't help but play the scene from "Finding Nemo" over and over in my mind.

Our small groups at church are currently doing a bible study on the book of Malachi.  I will be honest, this is not a book that I have studied much in the past (honestly, I probably have never really studied it as a whole ever).  So much of the book of Malachi is about God's unchanging love and pursuit of His people, yet his people keep turning their backs on him, time and time again. They were doubting his covenant love for His people and not trusting in his ability to be just.  Malachi (which means messenger) calls on the people to return to following the law that God established.
The specific passage that we were studying was Malachi 3:6-12.

Breaking Covenant by Withholding Tithes

6 “I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. 7 Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,”says the Lord Almighty.

“But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’

8 “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.

“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’

“In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty. 12 “Then all the nations will call you blessed,

for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty.

God is calling His people to return to Him in verse seven.... but the people ask how are they to return... and God basically says - stop robbing me!  Return to me what is mine.  God asks us for the people to bring to the storehouse their tithe (most interpret that to be 10% of their money, their crops, etc.) and their offerings.  In our study we were asked why do you think God focused on the tithe and offerings?  As I thought about that question, I thought about how we as people love our money... we hold it near and dear to our hearts... our lives revolve around it... it can control us, it is one of the top reasons for marriage problems and divorce.... God was asking them to give something that took great sacrifice.  

So I started thinking about giving up my tithe and my offering, and the more I thought about it and discussed it with our group the more I realized.... it's not about what is mine to give up... because NOTHING I have is mine... I am just returning to God what is His.... that is obedience!  It was never mine to begin with, however as a sinful human I struggle to remember that what I have is not my own.

My money...is God's - therefore I need to give freely to others what God has blessed me with, even when I feel like I have nothing to give, I need to give as the widow did in scripture.

My house... is God's - therefore I need to use it to take in people who need a place to rest. I need to use it to invite in both friends and strangers to share God's love with.

My car ... is God's - therefore I need to be willing to share it with others.  I need to be willing to pick up people for church.  I need to be willing to deliver meals to new moms and shut-ins.

My child.... is God's - she is not mine... she is God's gift on loan to us.  She is God's child with whom we pray He will use to change the world, and share Christ wherever she may go... which means letting go, because she too is not mine.

Mine, Mine, Mine.... needs to change to Yours, Yours, Yours - God let that be my daily prayer and my daily offering to "the storehouse".  May we as a family use everything we have for Your Kingdom and for Your Glory, and not for our own.  

A prayer for my sleeping child

There are few things quite as precious as a sleeping child.... whether it has been a great day filled with learning and obedience, or a day that seemed to be the worst of days filled with tears, whining, and what seemed like constant disobedience.  My heart melts over my sleeping child.  Sometimes I just stare at her, looking at her precious peaceful face.  Sometimes I cry tears of joy because of the amazing gift that God so gracious entrusted to me.  And sometimes I honestly look at my sleeping child and celebrate that the day is done... and tomorrow is a new day (if you know what I mean).

Lately I have been convicted of my need to do a better job at praying more specifically for people and for situations.  I am okay at mentioning names before the Lord, but not so good at being detailed in what I pray for.  That conviction has also rolled over into my need to do a better job praying specifically for my child and my husband.

Our evening routine involves a book or two, an evening prayer, and singing.  After the singing is through I usually kiss my sleeping child and quietly exit the room being careful to not wake the sleeping child.... however lately I have found myself lingering, looking and praying.  As I began to think about how to pray for her, I thought of the old hymn... Take My Life and Let It Be and it prompted me to pray like this....

I lay my hand and her HEAD - Lord, give her wisdom.  Help her grow in her knowledge of you. Help her to make wise decisions that would bring you honor.  Fill her mind with godly things and protect her from lies of the world.  Help her to think before she acts, so that she can be a light for you.

EARS - Lord, help her to listen - as the saying says you give us two ears to hear and one mouth to talk let us listen more than we talk.  Help her to be still and listen to that still small voice.  Help her to hear the cries of the people around her who need loved and cared for.  Help her to listen and obey as we seek to teach her your ways.  Give her ears that are fully tuned to your voice.

EYES - Protect my little girl's eyes... help us to teach her what is good to see and what to turn away from.  Give her eyes filled with compassion for those that she sees to be hurting around her.  Help her to be sensitive to those that she sees that look or act differently - help her to see them just as you see her.

MOUTH - You tell us our tongues are sharper than a two edged sword..... help her tongue to be used to build people up and not tear them down.  Help her to speak truth but in a way that is filled with compassion.  Help her words to be kind and caring.  Help her to use her mouth to tell others of your amazing goodness.  Let her be your mouth piece to a hurting world that needs to know of your love.

HANDS - Let these hands be used to serve you.  Let them be used to build for your kingdom and not be used to hurt others or for selfish things.  Use her hands to help bring joy to the brokenhearted and healing for the sick (she told me she wants to be a doctor, so I guess it is never to early to start praying if that is what she does).

I lay my hand on her BACK - this precious little body Lord is a gift from you.... protect her body from harm.  Keep away anyone that would want to hurt her or take advantage of her.  Lord wrap your arms around her as she sleeps so that she can be comforted to know that she is safe in your arms. Thank you for the gift that she is to me and so many others...thank you for her!

LEGS - You tell us that we are to run a race not of speed but of endurance.... give her legs to run that race and run it well.  Lead her on the path that is the straight and narrow.  Give her patience in the journey but help her to follow the leader of the pack, which is you.

FEET - Lord - these tiny feet will walk many miles over her lifetime... may those steps by following in your footsteps.  Let her be your hands and feet and be like You to other people.  Though it would be so hard to let her go far away, Lord if you call her to serve around the world... help me to be willing to let her go.... and help her to be willing to be obedient.

Lord for this little child, my baby, your gift to us... I pray your hand of protection, and pray that you amazing love would radiate from this child.  Thank you for sharing her with us!  AMEN

Countdown to Forty - #26 - Coaching Memoirs

As a former Physical Educator it only makes sense that I would love sports and also be drawn to coaching!  Coaching was one of my favorite things to do in each of the different communities I have lived over the years.  Your team becomes like a family to you, you get to not only instill physical skills but you also get to impact your athletes on how to do live, how to win and how to lose gracefully.  You also get to teach them about how to work together with others to achieve great things for the team..... and great things may not always be a championship...though that is a lot of fun! Great things could be a PR (personal record) improving your win/loss record, or just working better together as a team.

An a high school and college athlete I learned so much about life and teamwork through sports. There are also some great spiritual analogies that we can learn through sports and other teams.  Though I love sports and I loved coaching, I have also seen over the past 10 years how sports are changing and how the competitive spirit has gone from healthy to insane!  I have seen a dark side of parents who think their child should be number one at whatever sport they do.  I have seen people act as though little league baseball is the National World Series for paid professionals.... it makes me sad that we have somehow taken the joy of play out of sports.

Due to my MS, I haven't coached in several years (it's that whole depth perception thing).... but I have many great memories from over the years in a variety of sports that I have coached.... some of which I had played in high school or college, and some of which I had never played before, but hey some of the best coaches are not always the best athletes at those sports... they just know the game well.  I can't say that the sports I didn't play I knew well.... in fact I didn't know them well and I had to work extra hard to learn the sport as well as coach my team.... Thankfully I wasn't the head coach (at least at first).

In high school - I played Tennis, Basketball, and did Track & Field.  In college, I played Tennis and helped with the Basketball team.  So of all the sports, these are the ones that I know the best! However, my first year of teaching the first two teams that I coached in Clearfield were volleyball and softball..... I just laugh thinking about it.  They were in need of coaches and since I was there new Phys. Ed. teacher they asked me if I would and so I did because they were both JV positions.  It was a bit rough I am not going to lie.... I really knew nothing other than how to teach basic skills and rotations in volleyball (I only coached one year until they found someone who was skilled)  Softball I knew a bit more because I had played baseball when I was younger (10 years before coaching) but as the assistant I was able to learn enough to at least keep them team going when the other coach resigned.  I didn't really love the sport... but I loved the girls and it was fun to be a part of a team that did so well.

At Clearfield I also was an Assistant Basketball Coach to a team of girls that were awesome!  We had so much fun together.  Being the only female coach I was also a team mom.  I did the first aid, helped solve the team drama (which is always there when you coach girls and sometimes boys as well).  I did pre-game chats with the girls in the locker room.... as each game they would sing the Hanukkah Song by Adam Sandler and then ask each other who was going to pray.... and then it was always me that they wanted to do it.  They also quoted Happy Gilmore daily!  I loved working with those girls.  I also had the privilege of being the Head Girls Tennis Coach.  Though their wasn't really any feeder programs the girls did well and I was very proud of their accomplishments.  We had a great time together, laughing and joking....I have so many memories with those girls!

In Lewisburg, though I wasn't a teacher, I still had the great privilege of coaching.  I coached at the Jr. High girls basketball level - of which my girls had so much fun learning new words.... such as atrocious!  Then I also was able to coach at the Varsity Level - once again being part of a team that went to States (don't think it had anything to do with me, we just had hard working talented girls on both teams).  I also had the opportunity to do two coaching firsts for me while in Lewisburg.... I coached Lacrosse (which I knew nothing about - though I was good at braiding their hair, doing agility drills and first aid) and I got to coach Boy's tennis.... (I had never coached a boy's team before) Being able to beat many of them on the courts helped them realize I knew what I was talking about. We had our share of highs and lows but as a whole our team did very well and made several district appearances.  The funny thing is that I remember the things that were not tennis related.... like when a few said boys put a figurine out the bus window thinking they were Napoleon Dynamite.... and a few other things that I won't mention since they have all grown up now.  

Taking time to write about Coaching has filled my heart this morning!  I miss those coaching days, but I miss more the relationships I had with my student athletes, the comradery of the team, and celebrations we shared together.  Thanks for all the great memories!  If you have a fun memories or pictures to share I would love to hear from you.... it would be a great 40th gift to me!

Countdown to 40 - Only 27 days to go....

One of my favorite things to do in the summer time, well I guess also the spring time and the harvest time is gardening.  And for those of you who know me pretty well you will know that I have what I call a middle school pallet.... I am not a huge vegetable person, some of it is because of texture... some no matter how many times I have tried them or tried to make myself like them.... I just can't. But whether I like to eat them or not.... I love to grow them!  I seriously love it.  It must be a trait that runs in our family too, because we always had a garden growing up, and now my sister, Jill has one of the largest and most amazing gardens I have ever seen.  Well it is actually five gardens I think, but it is so well kept and organized.  My sister is my go-to whenever I have a gardening question.... actually I sent her a picture today from Romania to ask whether something was a plant or a weed. We love our gardening.

I really like raised beds, maybe one day I will have some.

To me, gardening is theraputic.  I actually even enjoy weeding most of the time (just because I said that doesn't mean I am volunteering to do everyone else's).  I told Joel one time that I would like to garden even on Sundays.... though some would look down upon that because it is work, I think it is a time for me to Be still and quiet and reflect on God..... but I usually avoid it if at all possible since I know most others would see it as work.

My biggest challenge with my garden though is the summer heat..... my MS and heat don't go well together so I have to be creative about when I can work and when I can't.  I also have to be creative about keeping pests out.... I have found marigolds work great!  Now to get those nasty bugs from eating my green beans without having to use Seven is my next goal.  

So you may wonder what I like to grow in my garden.... well... I will start from the house and work down.... Sunflowers, pumpkins, cucumbers, zucchini, radishes, lettuce (several kinds), spinach, green beans, roma tomatoes, potatoes, carrots, and onions.  Now you may wonder which of those things I actually like.... the carrots and the lettuce :)  Haha - though I am not a huge fan of many of the things I plant - I just love to grow them just so I can share them.  Also my family likes them and I have found creative ways to use all those things in my garden so even I can eat them.  Canning is another thing I enjoy doing with my produce from the garden.

So what about you.... are you a gardener?  If so I would love to hear what you like to plant, and why you like to garden.  Happy Growing to you and your garden!

Countdown to Forty - #28 - Crazy Drivers! Nervous Passenger

Today is for sure a confession - I AM A NERVOUS PASSENGER - there I said and now it is out in the open!  I never used to be this way until I lost my vision and my depth perception, but now it is almost a constant mental battle every time I get in the car with someone else who is driving.

Yup.... that's exactly what I look like 

It's not an issue for me if I am driving.  I give myself extra time and extra space and I don't spend a lot of time driving in the rain or the dark if I don't have to.  Joel has learned to cope with my imaginary brake that I have left an indentation on the floor from pressing my imaginary brake so hard.   I also have the handle above my seat that has molded very nicely to my hand..... and then their is the dashboard that has a hand print in the dust from my third imaginary source of braking.

I know it is my issue and I wish I didn't have to deal with it, but the fact is that it is a real struggle for me.  To the point that their are some people I just can't ride with because of their agressive style of driving.  Others I have decided that I just have to sit and the back and not watch the road.  While others I just pray - and pray a lot!  So please know that it is my issue, I have worked with a really good counselor (me) that I know and I use all my counseling techniques to overcome my anxiety, but my imagination runs wild sometimes and I still can picture accidents happening in my mind just by watching the cars around me.

It has been even more interesting here in Romania as people drive very aggresively and at high rates of speed.  It is good for the prayer life and I have worked really hard to not have issues, but I must say I will be thankful to be back home in my big Mini Van that I can drive at a safe speed on roads that I understand the rules.  

I guess it's true I am getting older!

Countdown to Forty - #29 - Outgoing Introvert

I am fascinated with personality tests... and how different personalities interact with other personalities... I guess that is why I got my Masters in Human Relations in Counseling....  Yesterday I posted about my Type A personality.  Today I want to write about my newest confession... I am actually introverted after all these years.

You may just laugh at that statement as my husband did for the first few years we were married until he began to realize that it was actually true.  And it wasn't until a few months ago that I saw someone post about being an Outgoing Introvert and I immediate said - YES!  That is me!! I never had a term to describe it until this spring. 

Although my Myers Briggs Tests Calls me extroverted...it actually was right in the middle.  Please don't get me wrong, I am social, I enjoy being with people, but I am actually shy and I definately recharge by having alone time (which is actually how you define the difference between introverts and extroverts.... its by how they recharge - some need alone time to recharge and some need people to recharge)  I definately need alone time to recharge!  

I don't do well in large crowds unless I am on the stage or in the way back.  People all around me is overwhelming.  I also am very shy when I first get to a place.  I remember one time that I wouldn't get out of the car at an event that I was the main speaker... because I didn't see the person that was in charge.  I seriously waited in the car by the door for at least 15 minutes waiting because I was nervous about meeting people.... I mean seriously - I am a speaker - A counselor - I talk to people for a living but still.... though many wouldn't believe it - I am extremely shy until someone talks to me, though I can stand on a stage with a hundred people staring at me and that doesn't phase me.  I am weird I know, but at least after almost forty years I am finally understanding how I tick.  

Countdown to Forty - #30 Type A personality

Often times when I describe Joel's and my relationship I say that I am type A and Joel is B through Z.... but hey opposites attract right?!  Anyway - I have often been refered to or refered to myself as type A.  As I think about type A personalities - they like structure, lists and order.  They are often rule followers and they appreciate timeliness/hate wasting time.  In their minds - life would be best if it could fit nicely inside a box with all sides of the box being straight and even because we also value semetry and balance.   They tend to be always moving, always thinking, more task oriented in general than people oriented.  

So I guess.... It's true I am type A for the most part... Okay how about Type AB.... here's what I have learned about myself..... I am not a hard and fast Type A personality.... and here's why, this is what professionals say qualifies as TYPE A.... my personal analysis is in purple.

• Time Urgency and Impatience, as demonstrated by people who, among other things, get frustrated while waiting in line, interrupt others often, walk or talk at a rapid pace, and are always painfully aware of the time and how little of it they have to spare.  This is probably more  true about me than I would like to admit.  I will definately admit I am impatient which makes parenting a toddler challenging.  I have improved in this area but I have a long way to go.  I value timeliness for sure.  It is very stretching being in other countries that don't value timeliness in the same way.  But that also has been a good stretch for me.  I actually at many times truly enjoy having no idea what time it is.... that's progress if you ask my camp friends.
• Free-Floating Hostility or Aggressiveness, which shows up as impatience, rudeness, being easily upset over small things, or ‘having a short fuse’, for example.  This probably slightly true but most of the time just with my family (sorry Joel and Ella)

Additionally, Type A behavior often includes:

• Competitiveness - True - but much less now that I have MS - I have a new perspective
• Strong Achievement-Orientation - True
• Certain Physical Characteristics That Result From Stress and Type A Behavior Over Years

Physical Characteristics: I don't really think any of these are true about me
The following physical characteristics often accompany TAB:

• Facial Tension (Tight Lips, Clenched Jaw, Etc.) - 
• Tongue Clicking or Teeth Grinding
• Dark Circles Under Eyes
• Facial Sweating (On Forehead or Upper Lip)

Negative Effects of Type A Behavior:
Over the years, the type of extra stress that most “Type A” people experience takes a toll on one’s health and lifestyle. The following are some of the negative effects that are common among those exhibiting TAB: 

• Hyptertension: High blood pressure is common among “Type A” personalities, and has been documented by research to be as much as 84% more of a risk among those with Type A characteristics.. - Nope
• Heart Disease: Some experts predict that, for those exhibiting TAB, heart disease by age 65 is a virtual certainty. Not that I know of
• Job Stress: “Type A” people usually find themselves in stressful, demanding jobs (and sometimes the jobs create the Type A behavior!), which lead to metabolic syndrome and other health problems. Mothering is probably the hardest job I have ever had... otherwise I would say my other jobs are lower stress in nature.  
• Social Isolation: Those with TAB often alienate others, or spend too much time on work and focus too little on relationships, putting them at risk for social isolation and the increased stress that comes with it. - I would say this can be true when I have a lot of stuff to do I become task oriented.  

I used to be such a list person - I had lists everywhere.  I am not sure if I have just grown out of making lists or what.... I mean I really love making lists, I just go through phases of using them consistently.  As far as being a perfectionist - I am not.  I just want to do a good job and be done with it.  I am far from a neat freak.... my house has its share of messes and piles.... my thing is everything needs a system and I can't put it away until it has it's place.  

So.... those that know me.... what are your thoughts... you would think that after close to 40 years I would know my personality.... and I think I do but sometimes others have a better perspective, so you tell me.....

Countdown to Forty - #31 - Long Distance Friends for Life

#31 - Throughout life we are all blessed with friendships.  Some of those friends come and go, some last while you are doing life together, but then fade when you move or your life changes - seasonal friendships is what I call those.  Some are the surface friends that you say hello to but you don't really do life together.  

I have to admit I have been blessed throughout the years with all kinds of friendships, and I am so grateful for those, because I couldn't do life without them.... but I must say there are a few friendships that stand out to me.... and those are my long distance friends who I rarely see, but when I do we can talk for hours without missing a beat.  Some of these women stood by my side at my wedding, some are camp friends who made it a point to love on me when I struggled to deal with my diagnosis.... though each story is different, each one is a gift from the Lord.  

Christie Hubner - One of my very first friends at college, though we met because of strange roommates, we learned very quickly that we had so much in common - including the Indigo Girls! Living on the top floor of Hess dorm gave us a fun comradery that I am not sure others would ever understand.   After our first year we lived in separate dorms at times but then were roommates during the summer time as well as senior year and the summer after we graduated.  We have lots of fun memories that we have shared together.  I love that Christie and her husband have made adoption part of their lives and to hear their story is amazing.  I am grateful for your willingness to come and help me pack for Romania - I don't think we forgot anything that I was planning to pack.... thanks for being there when it felt like my life was falling apart.  I can be real with you and for that I am so grateful.... let's get together soon - maybe we can meet half way! 

Kristin Wriglesworth was my best friend from Clearfield - whenever I head in that direction I must stop and spend as much time with her as possible.  Life has through her and I both curveballs and there are times we have gone months, almost a year without talking but yet.... it is like we had seen each other every day in between when we finally got to meet together in State College and talk for several hours.  I love visiting with her family - her boys are growing so much.  I still think that I get the credit for allowing her and Clair the joy of doing my dishes when I was sick on time as that is how they met.  Anyway - Kristin - you are a gift to me and I can't imagine life without you in it.  Let's get together soon as I miss you dearly!!!  Thanks for being my friend! 

Jacki Rearick - I am thankful that you live half way between our house and Florida and I am also thankful that you live near Liberty University as well as near Charlotte NC.... it is a great excuse to stop and take a break.  It is hard to believe that the two of us met the day before we were leading a group of teenagers on a week long trip on the Greenbrier River.  Wow - the memories from that trip will never leave me... mystery noises in the woods, slippery rope, flipping the canoe, officer Dan... was that really 17 years ago.... oh my.  Thank you for being that friend who was persistent on loving me when I was struggling with my MS diagnosis... your trip to see me and my comfy blanket (which I still have and love to use) made an impact on me that you will never begin to know.  I love you and your family!  Thanks for the gift of friendship you have given to me.

Jeanne Geise - My BFF from Lewisburg.  God has a sense of humor for sure as he brought our group of friends together - all of single and most all of us getting married so close to each other to people outside of our group.  If only we had known that at the time it would have saved us all some heart ache for sure.  I am grateful for you and all the heart to heart talks that we have shared, and the tough girl tears that we have cried together.  Though I shouldn't probably call you a long distance friend... because being in Northumberland probably doesn't constitute as long distance... but our life schedules don't always allow for us to get together as much as I would like - you will always be a great friend to me that I will cherish forever.  I can't wait to get home and meet that new little bundle of joy!  

Abby Stewart - Though you are one of my kids - you are very special to me.  I am excited to see how God is stretching you and growing you!  I know that we had a rocky start as I had to call you out and some stuff and you weren't really too excited about it.... so much that you lined drived me with a softball to a point that I couldn't walk.... you took what I said to heart and you made some great changes... I love that love people.... I love that you have a heart for people who have special needs. You are a gift to me and so many others.  I can't wait to see how God is going to continue to use you. Can't wait for our next beach trip Flabbyfeo.... Your favorite Cheetah burger and Chicken nugget can't wait to see you!  

There are so many others that have made big impact on my life.... I am could list so many.... from the Non-desperate Pastor's Wives Club (Nikki & Sarah & others), to my RFF Stephanie, to my MC co-horts, my IT3ers, my tough girl friends and their husbands (Jessica and Dan) my Ninevites Wives Club (Deborah & Christianna).... I love you all and thanks for being a huge part of my life!  

Countdown to 40 - #32 - Tennis, Anyone?

#32 - One of the best decisions that I ever made was to participate in sports at the collegiate level.  As I look back I am so thankful for all the time and energy that I put into being an NCAA Division III Tennis player.  

My roomate Dawn and I at our last match, so thankful she posted this the other day as I don't have many pictures with me here in Romania.  

Though it was almost 22 years ago.... I remember the first day of my college career as if it was just last year.  I had to go to school two weeks early for pre-season.  Once we moved in we were greeted and welcomed by the Upper-Classmen who were on the team.  They showed us around campus, they took us under their wings and they loved on us and mentored us.  Those girls were a huge God-send to me as I began my college years at Messiah College.  

As an athlete at a Division 3 school you don't get the perks and the special treatment that you may get at other levels, you can't receive athletic scholarships at this level so it is pretty clear that they aren't there for the money or the lime-light - they are there for the love of the game and the team.  And though Tennis is an individual sport, the team is very important and you need the whole team in order to win the match.  

I made some great friendships through my experience as an athlete, and not just in tennis, but with other athletes on other teams at our school.  As an athlete that experienced some major injuries I spent quality time in the training room with many other athletes.  Rehab was also a time to chat and build relationships with the other athletes and the trainers!  I also got to know tennis players from other schools... some I really enjoyed playing because you knew that it was going to be a hard fought honest match.... and then there were others who didn't value honesty in a sport without officials... the honor system is very important.  

Injuries aren't fun and I definately had my share - my junior year I tore my shoulder muscle.... they weren't sure if I would ever be able to play again.... that was life changing for me because not only was my sport important to me, it was also my career - I was a Health and Physical Education major.... so shoulder muscles are important :)  After a lot of hard work that summer doing aquatic therapy - I was able to rehab my shoulder and continue the sport that I loved.  

Though getting to play the number one singles position and number two doubles during my time on the team was a huge honor, the greatest honor for me was to be chosen as captain by my teammates, three years in a row.  

While I was thankful for my tennis career at Messiah - I did regret not trying out for the basketball team though my schedule probably wouldn't have allowed me to play all four years.  I was able to be a manager for them and play some extremely competitive Inter-murals while on campus!  Flag football and co-ed basketball were two of my favorites.  

Though due to my vision issues with my Multiple Sclerosis I won't be able to play this sport I love again, but I am so grateful for the years that I was able to play and the fun memories that we had hitting balls into the Creek from the old courts.... So thank you 1993-1997 Messiah College Women's Team for the great memories and fun times we shared with each other.