Today is for sure a confession - I AM A NERVOUS PASSENGER - there I said and now it is out in the open! I never used to be this way until I lost my vision and my depth perception, but now it is almost a constant mental battle every time I get in the car with someone else who is driving.
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| Yup.... that's exactly what I look like |
It's not an issue for me if I am driving. I give myself extra time and extra space and I don't spend a lot of time driving in the rain or the dark if I don't have to. Joel has learned to cope with my imaginary brake that I have left an indentation on the floor from pressing my imaginary brake so hard. I also have the handle above my seat that has molded very nicely to my hand..... and then their is the dashboard that has a hand print in the dust from my third imaginary source of braking.
I know it is my issue and I wish I didn't have to deal with it, but the fact is that it is a real struggle for me. To the point that their are some people I just can't ride with because of their agressive style of driving. Others I have decided that I just have to sit and the back and not watch the road. While others I just pray - and pray a lot! So please know that it is my issue, I have worked with a really good counselor (me) that I know and I use all my counseling techniques to overcome my anxiety, but my imagination runs wild sometimes and I still can picture accidents happening in my mind just by watching the cars around me.
It has been even more interesting here in Romania as people drive very aggresively and at high rates of speed. It is good for the prayer life and I have worked really hard to not have issues, but I must say I will be thankful to be back home in my big Mini Van that I can drive at a safe speed on roads that I understand the rules.
I guess it's true I am getting older!
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