Countdown to 40 - #33 Confessions, Life Lessons, Memory Sessions

#33 - Memory Session/Life Lessons (and maybe a confession or two) There aren't many dull moments when Growing up in a large family.  

Our wedding day 6 years ago

The first Christmas with all 5 Grant Kids.

You see my parent's always wanted to have children but were told that medically it wasn't going to work out for them.... so they pursued adoption.  They first adopted my older brother Doug in 1972, they got him in December (I just remember seeing a picture of him in a santa suit).  Then they wanted a girl.... so they adopted me :) Though I was born in July - they did not get me until September 23rd.  I call it my A day - though many are now calling them Gottcha Days.... that was in 1975.  Little did they know, they actually could have children after all and then.... in June of 1977 came Dan - their surprise miracle baby, then in June of 1978 their next surprise miracle baby Dave was born and finally one more surprise miracle baby was born in July of 1979, a little girl Jill.  So in less than 8 years - they went from empty nesters, to bursting at the seems with children.  Good thing seat belt and car seat laws were different back then, there is no way we would have fit in the car.  My mom used to put Doug and I up front with her and the other three in car seats in the back of the Grant Grocery Getter as we used to call it.... the Station Wagon!  

The Grant Grocery Getter!  

We had a nice big yard growing up in Potter County so we spent a lot of time outside.  My brothers would play in the dirt piles out in front of our house.  We would play wiffle ball in the back yard, and we really loved playing "killer croquet" that we set up in a miniture golf type course.  We enjoyed playing.   All five of us played little league when we were old enough.  

Our Annual Christmas picture with matching PJs

And don't forget about the matching monogramed sweaters

At Halloween my mom would always make us great costumes (some of which our kids have worn now as well)  We were Ragedy Ann and Andy, the three little kittens who lost their mittens, Kermit and Miss Piggy (2 of each - yes one of my brothers was a Miss Piggy - I won't mention any names to protect the victim) and then all sorts of individual costumes as well.  My mom was so good at that type of thing.

This is the same costume I wore as a two year old.... can you believe it lasted all those years.

As we got older - we were all pretty busy playing sports and participating in different activities.  We would have to eat in shifts during basketball season because the girls would practice and then the boys.... it was a little crazy.  Eating was always entertaining as well... the girls sat on one side of the table and the boys on the other.... one day Doug was complaining that he had to sit between Dan and Dave and pass food to them and that was the only reason Mom and Dad got him.... so the boys picked him up in his chair and put him on the front lawn.  

My Dad's retirement dinner

Having a Dad as a principal and a Mom as a teacher had its perks - they could give us money if we forgot it.... but it also had it's downfalls.... I won't list them - just imagine if your Dad was the principal.  

From Left to Right: Dan, Doug, Jana, Dave, and Jill 

I loved having a big family growing up!  Though it was filled with its challenges I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Thanks for everything Mom and Dad!  I not sure how you did it - I know we were a handful (okay I know as a toddler I was a handful, but look how good I turned out, wink wink)

And the other great part.... lots of wonderful nieces and nephews to love on!  

Lily, Kamryn, Ella, Paige, Livy, Matthew, Hayes

Countdown to 40 - #34

Now that I am caught up on my countdown, I will be posting just one a day (hopefully!) between now and July 8th.  I must admit it has been pretty fun to sit and think about all the lessons, confessions, and memories from the past forty years.  I hope you will also be encouraged to take some time to look back over your life to see what you have learned and the great memories you have made.

#34 - Lesson Learned - I am not a Tom Boy - I am a tough girl....  growing up I always loved hanging out the the guys, playing in the dirt, enjoying the great outdoors, and I loved sports - so as you could imagine I was told many times that I was a Tom Boy.... the funny part about that if you think about that is it really doesn't make sense - a Tom boy would to me be a boy - if it was a girl that acted like a boy shouldn't it be called a Jane Boy or something like that?  An

Fun dressing up three days in a row, make-up, hair-dos, and high heels!  

My tough girl side 

yway - as much as I loved to play and enjoy the outside, and maybe was a bit more agressive than some of the other girls, I still loved being girlie!  I wanted to have a few pretty dresses in my closet for those occasions I could dress up. Though I am very low maintenance and  rarely wear make-up I still love the times that I can dress up and spend some time putting on make-up and having my hair done.  I am a girl!  God made me that way and I so thankful!

Created to be daughter's of the King

I may not love the color pink - though I must confess that it is growing on me have a little girl who loves it and looks super cute in it..... but that doesn't make me less of a girl.  I don't spend hours getting ready to leave the house.... I am happy with five minutes to get ready.  It is doesn't make me a Tom Boy or less of a girl!  I just would rather spend my time doing other things.  I am a tough girl!  I always have been.... maybe that's what happens when you grow up with three brothers, or maybe it is growing up as a Potter County girl!  Anyway you look at it.... God made me a woman of worth, and though I may be a tough on the exterior I am still fragile and delicate on the inside just as God created me.  So I guess for me... I am not a fan of the term "Tom Boy" but I will thrive with the description Tough Girl - and that is my hope for my little girl.... that she can run around playing in the dirt while wearing her crown and her Tutu!  All girl with a bit of tough to go along with it!

Daddy's little princess

My little tough girl!

Countdown to Forty - #38 & #37 & #36 & #35

#38 -  Learned Lesson  - Quiet Times are always better when sitting in the woods on the edge of a stream.... when I was single I often found myself taking hikes or walks in the woods along with my Bible and my journal just to sit and Be Still.... don't get the wrong idea in thinking that I did that as often as I liked or that I mastered the art of being still because I have yet to master that... I think that may take a long while.  Anyway... the stream of flowing water with its bubbles and trickles and movement reminded me so vividly of the idea of Living Water throughout scripture.  It was and still is a place that I find a peace like it hard to compare.  Life is so full and so busy, but in the woods there is a quiet, and a calm that can't be fabricated in our society.... there is a connection with God for me that I struggle to find in other places.  So after all these years, there are days that I still long to sit in the woods on the edge of the stream with my Bible, my pen, and my journal and just BE!

"Be Still, and know that I am God"

#37 - Confession - I am not as adventurous as I used to be!  It's true - I am getting old.... and when I think about all the things I did in my 20s I sometimes get anxious just thinking about it.  Just a few that I can think of off the top of my head - white water rafting the Nile, Racing Mountain Bikes, helping to build and facilitate High Ropes courses.... I did those things, really!  I actually get a bit of a panic feeling just thinking about it.  I also hitchhiked in Africa - oh my!  I still can't believe I did that one (thought it was out of necessity!)  I was a bit crazy!  I loved tackle football and Basketball with the guys - I guess I was a bit of  tough girl!  Backpacking in the middle of winter with two other girls... yeah that too was pretty crazy - especially since our map was outdated and we had no idea where were!  We went kayaking on a flooded river.... crazy!!!  Oh the list could go on but I will stop there - it is pretty amazing to think of all the fun things I was able to do as a type A rule follower - so many of these were way out of my box so to speak.  Do I miss them.... of course I miss the idea of them.... but I think I can confidently say that I don't think I will be doing any of them any time soon!

Not me, but fun to pretend that was me passing a guy in a race :)

#36 -  Learned Lesson - Marriage is about a commitment to love, not just the feeling of love!  I remember when we were doing our marriage counseling and we were told that we would feel like we loved each other about 25% of the time but the rest of the time we would need to pursue our commitment to love even when the ushy gushy feelings weren't there.  I am not sure if the percent is 100% accurate but the concept and the theory are absolutely true..... I confess I don't always feel like loving my husband when forgets to take out the trash, or takes a call as soon as he walks in the door from work.... he doesn't always feel like loving me when I think irrationally about something little that was said, but I have blown up in my mind, or when I use five pots and 10 rubber spatulas to make one meal :)  But it is about a commitment.... I commit to loving him even when I don't feel like it.  He commits to loving me even when I am not very lovable (hard to believe I know!) We love, because God first loved us, so we can then love each other with a commitment for better or worse... richer or poorer, in sickness or in health..... it is a commitment!  And next to my commitment to Christ, it was the best decision I have ever made!

Christmas 2014

# 35 - Confession - Teenagers are my favorite age group to work with!  I know that teens are looked down upon sometimes for their behavior and their reputation sometimes, however are at such a great formative stage in their life.  Yes they rebel and yes they can be challenging, but they are testing the waters, they are struggle to break out of the cocoon of childhood to spread their wings and gain independence.... if they didn't struggle they wouldn't have the strength and the ability to make adult decisions, yet they are still like clay... they want to be molded and shaped, they want to gain knowledge... they want to know the whys and the hows so they understand the whole process and not just the solution!  They want so desperately to be loved that they sometimes seek it out in the wrong places when those that should be loving them in a healthy way are absent or abusive..... they want love, they need love, and though there will be those love/hate moments, they are so worth it when you see them later in life seeking to change the world and the lives of others!  Some of my greatest joys as a former youth leader are seeing my former students living lives that are seeking after God and leading others to him through the way they live their life's and their ministries!  Any former students that are reading this - please know that I love you and I love seeing how God is using you to change the world!

One of my girls, Samantha came to visit me while in Romania (she is studying in Turkey)

Countdown to 40 - Confessions, Life Lessons, and Memory Sessions #40 & #39

The idea came to my head yesterday, as I was thinking - wow - I am soon going to be 40 years old.... have I really had that many birthdays?  I was thinking back to different places I have been when I have celebrated my birthday.... and it got me thinking... how life changes and how I have learned so much through these years.  

Though it is really only 37 days to go... this gets the point across :)

One of my favorite quotes is from Beth Moore "She says you can't have your destiny without your history" - I love that and it is so true so the next 37 days will be a reflection on my history.... which has molded and shaped me for my destiny.  Since I didn't get this started forty days before my birthday, I am having to do larger posts  the next few days to catch up and stay on track to get all my posts in before my 40th Birthday!  

#40 - Confession - Parenting is the Hardest Job I have ever had!  But it is my favorite!  It is hard to believe how much I have learned over the past three years as a parent.  It has definitely opened my eyes to understand better God's love for me (though my finite mind, will never fully understand His infinite love!).  There are so many expert opinions coming at you daily about how to raise your child, and it is easy to feel as though you are failing, however I have learned that sometimes you have to do what you have to do just to get by.  All those things that you say you will never do as a parent, yet in desperation you find yourself doing just that thing as you just need to survive.... like let your child sleep in your bed.  (As I am typing this my child has crawled up my lap and is wiggling in pure Ella fashion and I am trying to not get frustrated, and now she is crying because Daddy came home without a prize for her, but he got a "prize" for himself aka a diet Pepsi). Discipline is hard!  So hard! But in the midst of all the hard, it is so fun!  I love to see her smile when she is just enjoying life!  I love seeing her covered in dirt (yes its true!) because it means she played hard and enjoyed being outside!  She is the best gift we have ever been given!  I can't imagine our lives without her!

Me and my Bean!

#39 - Confession - Once a teacher, always a teacher!  I can't get it out of my blood.... though it has been several years (more than I want to admit) since I have had my own classroom.... I still have those teacher tendencies in the way I work with students, and even sometimes adults.  I like details and I like to have things organized, especially events.  My students used to say I had a look.... I would get three lines on my forehead when I gave them that look and they knew that I was not joking around!  I think I still get that look at times with my child or group of students when necessary!  I miss teaching - I miss those relationships, but I am so thankful that I am still able to substitute teach and have a temporary classroom which I love!  Some of my type A qualities come directly from my years of teaching and my need for structure.... it is my blessing and my curse I would say.  

Since we are in Romania I don't have my computer with all my pictures... but would love to try to find some pictures for my Clearfield teaching days! 

I am enough because HE is enough!

It's not even one of those days..... though it is..... it's not even one of those weeks.... though it is.  I am struggling!  Though at times I feel full.... excited, ready to face the day.... I still feel empty, lonely, and disconnected.  It's not just one thing.... it is everything, and of course it all hits like a ton of emotional bricks, two days before I have to speak about Joy!  I am guessing this is all part of the enemies plan to rob my joy!  It also all happens while my husband is 13 hours away for several days while we are in another country.  I can't pinpoint one thing that has caused me to feel stuck in this place of wandering.... but I am here, so there must be a reason.  Have you been in the desert?  I think if we are all honest we have all been there sometimes for reasons we can't even put into words.

It is difficult to share this because no one likes to admit when their life feels void, when you feel like you have a weight in your heart that doesn't seem to want to go away.... when you feel like you aren't enough......

Today I share this in hopes that maybe my struggles may help you to know you aren't alone. To encourage you to know that you are enough.... because he is enough!

We have been away from our home for two months now, and today we begin our third and final month of our journey to Romania.  It has been hard (especially with me being so sick at first), It has been amazing, challenging, stretching..... but it has been at times lonely.... knowing that life is still going on at home.... changes are being made while we are gone.... feeling lost.... feeling disconnected.  I imagine that is one of the challenges of being a missionary.... it's hard... but it's a hard length of time to be gone as well.... you are gone long enough that you stretched but not long enough to completely emerse yourself because you know that soon you must begin the process of going home, and from what I have read on several missionary and travel abroad sites, that is the biggest challenge.   I would be lying if I said that I am fearful to return because I am not sure what my place is.... not sure if I can go back to seven random jobs.... not sure what I am supposed to be doing, or how I am supposed to be serving.... though I have had time to pray and ponder that..... I still struggle to feel as though I am not enough.... though I know in God's word he says, we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do a good work.... I just wish I knew what that work was to be..... but today I cling to the statement.... I am enough BECAUSE HE IS ENOUGH!!!

I am struggling as a parent.  I have spent almost every hour with my child since we have been here.... even at night I don't always get a break due to the nightmares, or fears of being in a new place.... I love her dearly, she is the best gift God has ever given to us, but it is hard!  She is a threenager as my friend calls it.  Constant training and correcting, encouraging and supporting.... I am not complaining because I love being a mom, I love being her mom, I am just tired and feel like I am not doing a good job.... I don't feel like I am enough..... I yell when I want to be calm, I am impatient when I want to be patient, my frustrations radiate on my face, when I want to gently correct.  Urghhhh - fealing again that I am not enough!  I am reminded in Esther - that God called her to do an amazing work - to save her people, and he called her "For such a time as this!"  For such a time as this, God you have called me to teach, train, and encourage this young little girl..... help me to know that I am enough only BECAUSE YOU ARE ENOUGH!

I struggle with what my ministry should look like.... I feel a call to be speaking and teaching... my husband encourages me to do that and says that God made me for that.  I love it and know that is part of His plan... but how does that work... how do I balance, how do I pursue that and not let comments of others discourage me when I have to go away for a few days.  I know that following you and what you have asked us to do doesn't always make sense, but it is hard..... there are times I think maybe I just need to get a "real job" because my student loans are so high, so I have to work, but I was told by my doctor not to work full time.... oh I feel torn!  I need direction.... I want to do what God has called me to do and be faithful!  I want to make a difference in people's lives!  I want to share Joy!  I am enough BECAUSE HE IS ENOUGH!

I struggle with my friendships..... being a pastor's wife can be a lonely place.... being a counselor can be a lonely place.  I feel like I go out of my way to invest and encourage but then feel as though I am alone as I pour out into others, but feel empty myself..... it makes me think of that old SNL sketch with Stuart Smalley.... "I am good enough, strong enough, and gosh darn it people like me"  I just feel as though I am alone.... although I know that I am not.... because Jesus said, I will NEVER leave you, nor forsake you...... I am enough BECAUSE HE IS ENOUGH!

The list of struggles could go on and on.... but I will stop there..... my daughter if finally napping, and I have stopped my tears over the fact that I spilled my drink while we were having a picnic lunch and my daughter melted down because it got all over Romania Raccoon.... my emotions are raw, but I will cling to the promise today that I am enough.....because He is enough!  

When I go though these times in my life, I have songs that play over and over in my head.... today I alternate between More Than Enough, and Place in this World (yes, an oldie but a goodie!)  So enjoy a little music as I bid farewell and spend some time just being still.

April 1st Anniversaries

Don't get me wrong, I love a good joke, and playing a harmless prank can be fun and brings joy (most of the time).  However, April fool's day for the last 8 years has had a bit of a different feel to it for me, it was this day 8 years ago that I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.... it was a Maundy Thursday actually that year.... I remember it so well.  It is a memory that just doesn't go away.... I was shocked, devistated, confused, the list of emotions goes on and on.  I wrestled with it, I came to grips with it, and then wrestled with it again with each new flare up.

If I had been writing this post two weeks ago, I would have been able to focus on how well I was managing my disease, how I have felt so good, been exercising a bit, and even played on a ladies indoor soccer team (which was so fun, and just what I needed to feel like an athlete again).  I felt great!  I was losing weight, becoming fit, and managing this disease.

But true to form with MS, you never know when your life will hit a turn in the road, over the last month, my body has endured stress, that though I felt I was managing well, my body was taking the brunt of it.... so one day after arriving in Hungary, I came down with intense vertigo that didn't allow me to leave my bed.... I thought it was jet lag (maybe foolish thinking) but with all my exercises I was trying and the meds that I added in later there was no relieve.... and as we arrived in Romania I found myself in the hospital getting tests and ultimately beginning a round of IV steroids to treat my newest flare up.

In the midst of this disease, I must admit that it has changed me over the past 8 years, whether feeling great (relatively) or laying here in bed recoving from feeling not good at all.....I am a better person today because of this.  Each day I must make a choice, to celebrating the good days, and look for the Hope in the bad.  As much as I hate the disease, I hate how I feel especially the last 10 days, I wouldn't trade it because it has drawn me closer to God, it has made me a better more compassionate person, and it has slowed me down when I need to rest.

In the title you may have noticed it said Anniversaries -plural - Today also marks 5 years since we lost our first little miracle to a miscarriage... 5 years, it seems like so long ago, but then other days it seems like yesterday..... as I look back and remember that day and that month - it was probably one of the hardest things I have had to deal with - I never realized how much it would hurt, but I also hav learned how much God will heal because of it.  How he will bring people to love and encourage you, when you just want to quit, how he will give you comfort when you just want to curl up and cry.  It was hard, very hard, but I have also seen how God has used this part of my story to ministry to so many other women who have journeyed the same road, and how many have done just the same for me.

So my dear little child who is in heaven with Jesus, I love you!  We miss you, but we know that God's plan is perfect.  And each year on this day, we remember you with orange tulips - they remind me of the sunrise, new life, new mercies.... you are a gift that will never be forgotten, and when Ella talks about her big brother and sister.... I just have to smile knowing that she does have one in heaven and for you we are thankful.

So thank you my dear husband for remembering!  And searching the streets of Romania to find me the only bunch of Orange Tulips available... they mean the world to me!  

I close with my life verse.... "Be joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, and Faithful in prayer!" Romans 12:12

A Hug From Heaven

The last week and half has been more difficult that I would have ever imagined could be possible.  As you all know we are scheduled to leave for our 3 month mission trip on Thursday, but what I didn't plan for was week of saying goodbye to loved ones, many trips to the hospital as well as a trip to see my parents.  In a two week time period my dad fell and broke 5 ribs and punctured a lung, a great man of faith Guy Temple, who went on almost every trip I did with my students in Lewisburg,  went to sit at the feet of Jesus as his health unexpected deteriorated very quickly.  Then the biggest hurdle of my life time up to this point was saying goodbye to my dear friend Kolleen, she was only 35 years old and a wonderful mother to 4 young children, and a wife to Kevin.  She was one of the hardest working women I have ever known.  She loved Jesus and I was blessed to know her.  What we thought was a bad case of the stomach flu at the movies, turned into the most difficult of situations as she was rushed to the hospital with a brain aneurism that burst, but had not warning signs.... she hung on for several days and fought hard (as she always did).  We prayed and prayed for miracles and we saw many during those days, but we prayed for complete healing and we believed it would happen.... and it did, it just wasn't the earthly healing that we so desperately wanted, it was a heavenly healing! She is with Jesus, she is whole, she is healed!  Though I miss her so much, I know the hardest part is knowing that Kevin and the kids are without a wife and a mom.

My heart hurts for them as they begin this new journey as a family, it hurts me that I won't be around the next few months, so I wanted to do something for them to remind them how much their mommy loved them.... so with a little help from my mom and her fabulous stash of fabrics I was able to make a big heart shaped pillow for each of the kids with soft flannel fabric,  The heart wide and long so as they lean in it will feel like a hug from heaven.  It is so hard for them to understand, but I know and I trust that God will take care of them and daily remind them of his love and their mother's love. Making these was also very theraputic for me and as I walked into the sewing room, the radio was playing the song.... You are not alone.  Below is a picture of the hearts and one with Ella as she wanted to give each one a hug from her as well.  I am also putting a link to the you are not alone song as well.

If for some reason the video below doesn't play, just click on this link.  May you be blessed, with a hug from heaven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7YKHRb59a4

Quiet Book Project

My blog is so random.... but then again... I am random so I guess that it works!  Anyway, I decided that I wanted to make a quiet book for Ella for the plane ride to Romania (as if I didn't have enough to do in getting ready for 3 months in another country).  I have a few finishing touches I need to do - like faces on my finger puppets, the edges on my alphabet and attaching the pages together.  It was a lot of work!  But I love how it turned out.  I do want to thank my friends Janel Martin and Aimee Shaeffer for sharing their ideas for me and helping to motivate me to get started.

A few things that I have learned in this process.... magnets....are not my friend and causes me to have to tear a whole page apart and start over.  Cutting things out takes forever!!!!  Though snaps are a nice touch - they also take forever, and one can get a little loopy staying up until 2am to complete just the page with the snaps.  I took the easy route and used the blanket stitch setting on my machine, I also used all white thread.... had I had more time I would have switched colors but time was running out.... I also used hot glue - which is nice and easy (thanks Aimee for the suggestion).  I also learned a lot about my sewing machine (thanks for the help Rachel Mingle).  So without further wait.... here is my quiet book, minus the cover which I will post later (if I remember).

First Page - Farm Show - with Finger Puppets (faces to happen later this week)

Next up - baking party - The upper page is a cookie sheet with milk and each cookie is a different shape and color and they are buttoned on and off - working on buttoning and matching.

Cupcake Counting - Each cupcake has a number of sprinkles that match the cupcake tin.  

Bee Maze - There is a string in the corner has a bee on it.  Weaving the bee through all the hooks in the correct order to get to the beehive at the end.  

A Day at the beach - Build a sandcastle

Making Breakfast and Setting the table

Getting Ready - Practice zipping jacket, tying her shoe, and doing her hair.  

Dressing Up - Paper doll goes felt!  So much fun and do many outfits!  Hopefully we won't lose too many shoes.  

 Alphabet Matching and Spelling.  All the letters on the circles are snapped on for matching, then below there is an envelop of words that she can pull out and spell on the snaps provided.

Finally, Tic Tac Toe - with Monkeys and Frogs - This was the page I tried to use magnets, but that was an epic fail!  

There it is!  Now I have to clean up the aftermath in the dining room.  I have to pick up a few more things and then I am done completely!  Hope she loves it!

Redeeming the 30s

As I move towards the ever so blessed 40s age bracket, I can't help but think and reflect back on my 30s.  It seems as though I turned 30 and my body started to fall apart.  I had major knee surgery the day before my 30th birthday after completing my first Half Marathon - I was in the best shape of my life, but my body was beginning to start down a pretty harsh down hill spiral.

Two days after my knee surgery, they found a blood clot in my leg... which after some genetic testing they found I had a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Liden.  Fun times rehabbing not just the knee but also working through the blood clot.

As if that wasn't enough at the end of that year I also woke up blind one day.... very long story short.... I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a journey that seems to rob me from so many things that I loved,,,, no more exercising because the heat made me feel awful, no more tennis, because I could no longer judge where the ball was coming from - not having depth perception really put a stop to so many of the things that I loved - I mean I was a Phys Ed teacher.... I loved sports...key being the past tense of love.

Over the past 5 years I have come to grips with my new lifestyle which doesn't really include many sports other than golf (when its not too hot) and bowling - both sports that don't have a ball flying at me.  I have sat back and watched people play sports, exercise and have learned to be content in my position of watching.  It has been a journey... sometimes a good one, sometimes one of struggle.  I have even at weak moments thought - I can still do that - I will give it a try - like when I subbed one day and thought maybe I could try pickleball - EPIC FAIL - I missed every ball that came to me... I chose to laugh, but inside my heart broke knowing that my new reality - and the students just thought I was horrible at the sport.

Well now let me get to the point.... as I will turn 40 in just a few short months, I have felt pretty good over the last year - though I still struggle at times with my "normal MS" things - I have felt good so I started running - in fact I did two 5Ks this year.... they were my best times (post MS of course - since I won't let myself compare the before and after times because it makes me sad).  I even completed on in CO a mile above sea level - under 40 minutes (runners please don't laugh at my time) for me - it was a huge victory - I almost cried as I crossed the finish line - it felt so amazing to achieve that - a reminder that God is so good!  Thank you IT3 5Kers for encouraging me, supporting me, running next to me, and being a huge part of redeeming my 30s

It gets better - this winter I was asked by a friend to play in a 30 plus women's soccer league - I haven't played indoor soccer since I lived in Clearfield - so I thought this could be interesting!  I am tired and out of shape for sure... I sometimes start running to the ball and run into the opponent because I am unable to stop - I get schooled by the "young" fit ones..... but I am playing!!! I am part of a team again for the first time in a very long time.... I know it may sound dumb to get so excited but to me, this is huge!  I am competing!  I scored a goal last week and in my heart I felt like I had just won a medal - seriously people.... my heart is full!

I am not sure how long my body will last or when my next relapse will be, but I do know this, I feel great, and for today I will celebrate, Celebrate the good days and get through the bad.  I will thank God that he has given me an opportunity to do something I love - be part of a team.  Like I said - I am not a soccer all-star - but I am part of a team - I am exercising again and I am blessed!

Thank you Moonshine Team for welcoming this old, broken down lady to your team,,,, you have made my heart full and helped be a huge part of redeeming my 30s.

Pastor Appreciation #5

A few biased thoughts from a pastors wife!

A normal day..... what.... do they exist in ministry?  Of course not!  This job is not for the faint of heart.  It is not for the "must have a consistent schedule" people.  It is a tough job, but its more than a job, it is a calling.

I found this humorous "ideal pastor" snippet I thought you enjoy....

"The ideal pastor preaches exactly twenty minutes with an hour's content.  He condemns sin, but never offends anyone.  He works from 8 am to midnight, and also serves as the church janitor. He makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, and donates $30 a week to the church.  He is 29 years old and has 40 years of experience.  He is a strong leader, yet also follows everyone's advice.  He can effectively relate to all teenagers and spends all of his time with the elderly.  He is tall and short, thin and heavyset, and has one brown eye and one blue eye.  He makes 15 house calls a day, regularly visits the hospital, and is always in his office." Oh and don't forget their perfectly behaved children that sit quietly in the pew every Sunday. 

Though this is humorous, you would be amazed at how many people have some of those exact expectations of the pastors.... I especially love the "is always in the office".  Don't get me wrong it is good to have some office time, and sometimes you need to have a lot of office time. But if you are in the office all the time you aren't out with people, you are aren't doing life together with your congregation.

The perfectly behaved children.... yeah, my child is just as squirrely (if not more) than the non-pastor's child that is sitting near us.  My child spends a lot of time at the church, so it makes sense they may be more familiar with all the good hiding places :)  But know that just like most other children, my girl loves her Daddy and when she sees him, even if he is up front, she wants to say hello and give him some love.... or just talk in the microphone.  Give her grace, it is a challenging job to live up to the expectations of being a PK.

I am thankful for two pastors that are out of the office as needed, visiting with people, doing life with others.  I am thankful for pastors who are willing to serve despite their paycheck.  I am thankful for pastors who go out of their way to relate and love on "the least of these"  Thank you for loving your families and modeling that to the congregation.  Thank you for your time and your sacrifice.  I pray that we as a congregation at our church and the church universal would take time not just this month but every month to encourage their pastors!

Pastor Appreciation Post #4 - The Family

I have spent many years working in ministry.... as a volunteer, staff member, and as a full time paid director.  I have worked at camps, churches, and at parachurch ministries.  All this to say I have experienced a large variety of ministry settings, but nothing really compares to being a pastor's wife and raising a child in the pastoral setting.

As a wife of a pastor I see the amount of time and energy my husband puts into his ministry at the church.  I hear the phone ring as soon as he walks in the door for the one more problem to solve or one more detail to figure out, or to find out that he needs to head out the door to do an emergency visit.  I see his love for the church, I see his hurt for the church and its people.

My downfall as a pastor's wife is that I often feel that our staff is under appreciated, some people are more quick to complain than they are to encourage..... it is just a small portion but sad to say it is the negative words or criticism that you remember.

Please here me say,  I love our church and I am so grateful for a healthy church that is active and encouraging!  I just think it is important for people to better understand the time and commitment it takes to lead a healthy church.  And how ministry affects the whole pastoral family.

I know what it feels like to be a PK - I was one.... I was a Principal's Kid.... which in many ways is like being a pastor's kid.... but in many ways very different.  It is often easy to critic those that are up front and in leadership, as a child I heard those words and it hurt me to think someone didn't appreciate the sacrifices that my dad was making for our school.  For Ella and other pastor's kids,  it will hurt them just the same.  They will grow up feeling a bit of pressure (though not intentional I don't think) to be perfect (the same feeling we as pastor's wives struggle with)  We know that people are watching how we lives our lifes, they are watching how our kids behave and they are watching how we show and receive love.

Whether we like it or not we are in the lime light at the church.  It reminds me of the passage that says, "to those who are given much, much is expected"  I know as a pastoral family there are great expectations, to which we strive to live up to, but also know that we will fall short, and to that we need your grace and mercy so we can pick up and start again.

I am grateful to have another pastor's wife in our church.  One that can be a sounding board, and one to walk the ministry road with.  Thank you Nicole for being a great friend!  I love being in this ministry journey with your family and I can't wait to see how God uses our husbands, us, and our children to do great ministry in our church, our community and our world.

Take some time this week to love on your Pastor's wife and children, they need to know their sacrifices and time are worth it!

The Pastor's Wife

We often hear of Heroes 

on the news at night, 

How someone went into a fire 

To save someone else's life.

But, there's another hero 

that we never hear about, 

Though Her love and dedication 

are never in a doubt.

Often took for granted... 

Never glorified, 

Still she keeps on going 

for the person by her side.

She stands beside him everyday 

no matter what ... is thrown their way, 

For he was called from above 

To spread the message of "GOD'S LOVE".

And just as he was called... 

She was hand picked too. 

for it takes someone Special 

to do what she must do.

And thou he may get the Glory 

and he may get the Fame, 

She will stand beside him in Love 

and Help him just the same.

She's the person he turns to 

when he needs a friend, 

She will always be there till the 

"Glorious End".

I would like to take this moment 

to introduce to you, 

a LOVELY unsung Hero for whom 

GOD hand-picked to spend Her life 

as The Pastor's WIFE.

By Donna Golden, Georgia, USA

Pastor Appreciation #3

Have you ever heard the saying, if you find the perfect church, don't join it because you will surely mess it up!  Kinda funny but oh so true!  There is not a perfect church around..... but there are lots of great churches, that seek to draw people to Jesus, to challenge you in your faith and provide an opportunity to Worship the King of Kings all that while staying true to God's word.  Our church is not perfect..... our church is group of people all ages, all styles, all financial backgrounds, ecclectic as my husband would say.... a church filled with people doing life together, learning daily to surrender and be obedient to God.

I love that our church is growing, we have new families and new babies almost monthly - something to be excited about for sure!  God has been blessing our church.....in the midst of that blessing, we have had our share of struggles and trials, but we have faced them head on.... and that is my appreciation post for today.  I have been apart of many churches through out my years of life, and I have never seen a staff and leadership team that is so willing to deal with conflict, instead of running away.  We have a great team of leaders and pastors that seek to deal with conflict biblically....though not perfect (just like our church) they seek to bring resolve even in the most challenging cases.  They encourage the believers to talk to the person in which they have conflict with.... but not only do they encourage us to do that but they model it themselves.

Thank you pastors and church leadership for all you do!

Pastor Appreciation #2

Being a pastor's wife I see the amount of time that my husband puts into the ministry that God has called him to..... it seems as though being a pastor can sometimes be a thank less job.  They work countless hours each week.... taking one day off (though they both have worked on that day when situations arise).  They miss time with their families to serve the church family.  They work late at night, early in the morning as they fulfill their call.  They sacrifice their own time for the sake of the church.

Thank you!!!  Thank you!!! Thank you!!

Take some time this week to actually call or send a letter or card of thanks to your pastor.  Take them out to lunch, offer to help them with a project at home, give them the gift of family time..... but please in the least say thank you!  They love us, they serve us, they mentor us, and they provide great leadership for us.

So here is my letter of thanks:

Dear Aaron,
Thank you for loving God's word, for studying it, for praying through it, for seeking God's wisdom to understand it.  It is a blessing to be under your leadership and to be able to benefit from your time of study.  Thank you for being a great example for all of us.  We appreciate your excitement and enthusiasm as well as your ability to confront and deal with conflict.  Thank you for all you do that no one sees.  You are a gift to our congregation and we appreciate all you do!

Dear Joel,
Thank you for modeling what it means to Love God, Love your Family, and Love the church!  You are an amazing man of God.  I am so blessed to call you my husband.... but since this is a pastor appreciation letter and not a husband appreciation letter I will focus on ministry stuff.  I have never met a pastor who has such great love for his church.  You long for the church to reflect God - you love the people of the church.  Your longevity at the church is unheard of in a a culture where people run to something new when challenged or hard times come.  Thank you for your consistency.  Thank you for you gift of compassion.  You will talk to anyone at any time, you care about people knowing Christ.  You invest in the lives of people.... its not just a church thing for you, it is a life thing, you go and watch peoples games, plays and concerts - not just the youth but others as well.  You make countless visits to the hospital, nursing homes, and others to show that we as a church care.  You answer the calls in the middle of the night at times of need (at least when you hear them you do :)) You are blessing to our congregation!  Your years of service give you wisdom that is a huge asset to the leadership of the church.  You are a gift and I love you (oh wait I said that I was keeping this pastor related only!) oh well I can let everyone know I love my Associate Pastor!

Pastor Appreciation #1

It's Pastor Appreciation Month!  So thankful for our church and our Pastors!  Each week of this month I will be making a post about something I am thankful for our Pastors (I understand that I am biased, but I also know how much they really do behind the scenes that no one else sees)

So today I am thankful for Joel Snyder and  Aaron Benner and their great relationship with each other.  It is so refreshing to see two men that care about each other, not just in work related areas but in life.  They work well together, though they are very different, they balance each other out.

Over the last year they have taken on a lot being without another pastor and they keep pressing on! They keep visiting, they keep teaching, they keep serving.   You sharpen each other Prov. 27:17. Thanks for all you do!

Pray for your Pastors and encourage them!

Going to Romania

Time is flying and before you know it, our little family is going to be on a plane to Romania.... in less than 10 months we will be making a temporary home in Timisoara, Romania.  The planning is under way, the first round of letters have gone out, we have begun a fundraiser at our church, and started working on forming a team to join us at the end of the trip for a 10 day mission trip.

Ten months in some ways seems to be so far away and yet we know it will be here before we know it.  If any of you are interested in following our new family adventure you can go to www.snyderfamilyadventures.com and find out more about our trip.  We would love to have you join us on this journey - partnering with us in prayer would be a huge blessing as well as financial giving.

It is our hope to blog bi-weekly once we are there and hopefully weekly prior to that.  I will continue to be blogging on this site as well with ministry and other life related topics.